The Worst Story Ever (Part Two)

Chapter Seven

"What?!" Ophelia shrieks. "No! That is so not fair!" she whines, although she can't really do anything about it.

Well, she could...

"I don't want another annoying little sister!" she cries. I am about to object, but I decide to remain quiet until I fully sort out my own emotions. Marcus slowly backs away.

Yeah, if I were you, I'd get the hell out of there while I still could.

"Ophelia." mom says, rubbing her forehead and sighing deeply. "Look, we don't even know what gender this baby will be. He or she will be a great thing for our family. We've already picked out some names, if you want to look at them."

"I kinda like the name Max." I shrug, without looking at the list my dad handed me.

Okay? That was very random.

"Well, we would have to think about it, but..." my dad starts to say, but he is cut off by my mom who smiles and says,

Well fucking obviously your gonna have to think about it. Well, actually, if this situation follows the trend of everything else written so far, you're not gonna have to think about it at all!

"I like that name."

Who said that?

She starts talking to me about all the wonderful things that being an older sister can bring. Responsibilities, a better character, blah blah blah, basically every good quality that my sister doesn't have.

Get fucking burnt to a crisp, Ophelia

Ophelia begins to look sort of impatient, as she glances around the room, waiting for our mom to stop yammering on. When she does finally stop, Ophelia drags me up the stairs, with Marcus running behind me. "Sorry mom this is important!' she yells rudely down the stairs. She throws me into her room and tries to slam the door in Marcus's face, but he stops it with his arm and, comes inside as well. Nadime and Abhi scratch at the door.

What the fuck just happened?

"Okay, so, do you remember when I told you guys to make lunch? And Buddy and Alise to clean?" she squeals excitedly. Marcus and I nod in confusion. "Yeah, well when I came back into the living they were all like, making out on the couch. Eww!"

That's what was so important that she had to interrupt their mother talking about the life she is literally creating?? Also...didn't I say earlier that Ophelia is supposed to be seventeen? I don't think Ophelia, as the boy-crazy somewhat ditzy seventeen-year-old girl I tried to portray her as, would think of making out as gross.

Ophelia has always been obsessed with drama and gossip. She just loves exposing people's secrets, so I guess it's a pretty good thing that I don't have many important ones.

You've heard of unreliable narrators, correct? Well, Paige is an irrelevant narrator, giving us a lot of either unnecessary information, or somewhat necessary information in the worst way possible. Can irrelevant narrator be a thing now?

"So that's why they were mad when I spilled orange juice on her!" Marcus's jaws drop like he just won the lottery.

I think they'd be mad anyway but okay.

"Anyone would be mad if you spilled orange juice on them." I raise my eyebrows. "Wait, we should prank call them!" I laugh really loudly. "Oh, never mind, he has caller I.D, he'll know who it is." I shrug indifferently.

How did her mind go from "oh my friend is dating someone so wE sHoUlD pRaNk CaLl ThEm!"

"Does he know Ophelia's number?" Marcus whispers so Ophelia can't hear him. I shake my head no, and sort of accidentally look at her with what I hope is not an evil look. She takes a step backward from us, confused. Marcus grabs her cell phone out of her hand and then leaps across the hall to my room, pulling me with him, and locks the door.