Wanna Hear A Secret//A Gaurence FF

Mountain of Lies

Garroth's POV

This is bad. This is so very bad. How could he have gotten the sweater? I threw it in the trash! Wasn't Dante supposed to take the can out last night anyway? Why was it still here? How am I going to explain this?

Well, whatever I try to explain I better make it sound good. I've already hesitated too long to answer, and I'm sure my face looks absolutely guilty right now. That was confirmed by the way Laurence's brows furrowed into his very obvious anger.

"Garroth, I want..." He shook his head. "I need you to tell me," Laurence finished with a plea. I didn't like seeing him like this. Upset. Hurt. Accusing.

I did that.

There was nothing I wanted more than to tell him that all of his pain...all of his sorrow is because of me. That he wouldn't even be sitting where he was now if it wasn't because of my actions. My selfishness. But I couldn't. Not only would he hate me for the rest of his life, but I could be putting him and myself in way more danger than we already are. If Gene were to find out...

I sighed and opened my mouth.

"After you left, I was going to go and get something to eat from the kitchen. It was then that I heard a loud bang sound out from somewhere outside, but it didn't seem like it was nearby. I knew that you were still out there and so I ran out of the house immediately to go and look for you and make sure you alright. When I found you a few blocks away, you were bleeding out on the pavement and your skin had turned pale. I didn't know what else to do so I wrapped my sweater around you and carried you back to the house so that we can drive to the hospital..." I made sure to keep the trembling in my voice to a minimum, watching the guys' faces change along with what I was saying.

The guilt kept rising in my chest at every emotion that flickered through Laurence's eyes. It took every breath to push it back down. It was only a half-lie...yeah...that's all it was.

"If that was the case...why didn't you tell me?" Laurence asked after a moment. "Were you ever going to tell me? Why did you try to hide it?"

I didn't have an answer for that. The lie would have been so simple to say, I could have moved passed it. This conversation wouldn't be happening. Our friendship wouldn't be on the brink of crumpling over.

Though that last statement would still be true.

"Laurence..." That was the only word that was able to leave my mouth. A bit repetitive. Laurence closed his eyes, almost as if he was in pain. (Well he very much is considering that wound). Travis rubbed soothing circles on his back while Dante came to take a step towards me.

He looked like he was going to say something, but a certain brunette interrupted him.

"No more lies..." Laurence whispered, his voice shaking and his hands fisting my sweater with such a foreign vengeance. "I can't...I can't take any more lies, Garroth..." Dante turned around to look at him, Travis stopping his motion and looking down at Laurence with concern etched into his features.

"Laur...this is stressing you out too much...you were just discharged today so maybe it'd be best if-"

"NO!" Laurence shouted, immediately grimacing in pain right after. Dante was shocked at first from being cut off, but he continued to speak.

"Laurence...this back and forth isn't good for you..please..." It hurt hearing Dante beg. He shouldn't be begging, I'm the one who should. And not begging for Laurence to calm down, begging for Laurence to forgive me.

"These secrets aren't good for me!" He opened his eyes then, but they looked...different in a way. Crazed...and...angry. He directed them right at me. "Garroth! What aren't you telling me?!"

"What are y-ou talking about? I told you everything that happened!" I tried to defend, but my voice cracked, failing on me.

"I'm not stupid Garroth! There's something that you're keeping from me and it not only shows up on your face but in your actions too!" Laurence raised a hand to gesture to my appearance. "For one, you come back home looking like someone beat the life out of you!"

Because they did.

"I told you, I fell down a hill and got banged up..." I fought to keep my voice steady.

"That's two! How did you fall down a hill that steep when there isn't one for miles? You were supposed to come and see me! I was the one thing that should've been your priority! What did you even have to do?! You haven't answered that question yet!"

He's right. I've been avoiding that question this entire time. I don't have an excuse for that. What was I supposed to say? That I went on a hike the morning of my best friend's hospital release? How stupid does that sound?!

"It's none of your business. I just went out on an errand and lost track of time," I answered, my voice colder than it was a few moments ago. Why was I getting angry? I had no right to be.

"It is my business! You supposedly had an 'errand' to run the day I'm discharged and now you're here all best up. You couldn't clear your schedule just for today? Or am I that much of an inconvenience to you?" Travis glanced between Laurence and I, worry and conflict meshed together on his face. Dante was no different.

I don't blame them. I'd be pretty anxious too if this were the other way around.

But it isn't. I'm the one deceiving my friends. I'm the one hurting them. They don't deserve this treatment. They deserve the honesty and loyalty they give me.

So why am I not giving it to them?

"It's not...it's not like that..." I shook my head, exhaustion and pain starting to hit me again like a freight train. "Look. Just let me go to the bathroom. This conversation has gone on long enough..." I tried to walk past him again, my heart breaking at the pained expression I was leaving behind. He didn't try to stop me, instead, it was Travis who did.

"Garroth," He said seriously, his emerald gaze keeping me frozen to the floor. I've never seen Travis look like that. It was...unsettling.

"What do you want, Travis?" I asked him plainly. I just wanted to go to the bathroom and hopefully have enough time to gather my thoughts.

"You know you could tell us anything...right...?" He asked, his expression softening. He looked tired and sad. Like whatever I say next would be his last shred of hope and reassurance. "You can trust us..."

I know I can. I just can't trust myself.

"Travis..." I sighed. I felt Laurence and Dante's eyes on me, them too awaiting to see what I would respond with this time.

I could tell them right now. Spill everything and beg for forgiveness. It wouldn't even matter if they forgive me or not, I could stop lying. Things could maybe work out...

"Get out of the way," I finished. It seemed as though they let out a breath they'd been holding, more so in disappointment than in relief. Travis looked at me for a moment before nodding once and stepping to the side.

The bathroom door opened and once inside I locked it. I looked into the mirror to see how badly I had gotten hurt, but I knew that no matter how horrible it looked...

None of the pain I feel will ever amount to the pain I left outside...