Oblivion: A TFIOS fanfiction

Chapter 9

Hi guys!
Long time since I've updated I know! So sorry about that but here's a new chapter!
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Augustus' POV

I was shifting through my foggy memories as we walked to the park. My heart twisted whenever I said or did something "wrong" and Hazel would try to hide the pain in her eyes. Sometimes I couldn't even bear to be around her and inflict pain on her.

There was something else, something I couldn't tell Hazel. I didn't want to believe it but I knew it was true.

I was losing my memory, slowly-thanks to medication-but losing it all the same. I would wake up each morning with a couple less memories like I couldn't remember my credit card pin (which was bad) and that I just couldn't picture the exact shade of Hazel's eyes. So on those days I would make sure that Hazel was the first person I saw and I would look into her eyes like I was searching her soul and I would smile a bit, knowing I would remember her eyes for the rest of the day.

No matter how hard I tried to hide this memory loss, it seemed like she could tell. Just by the way she would sneak a glance at me and then wipe her eyes a little when she thought I wasn't looking. How she guided me around and tried to hide her sadness and pity because she knew I hated that. My heart seemed to break a little every time this happened, which was more and more often.

And I knew that she wasn't the grenade after all. Maybe she had been. Not any more.

"I'm a grenade Hazel." I blurted out.

She stopped in her tracks and looked to the park that was very close by.

"What?" she asked, confused since she obviously recognized her words.

My thoughts tumbled over each other, forming indistinct sentences and words, as if a dam had broken and my thoughts were water.

"A long time ago, you told me you were a grenade, and how you would blow up someday and hurt everyone around you. That is one of my clearest memories." I looked at her and continued, "but now I see that you were never a grenade. Not to me. You were a living breathing person I loved and could never forget. If you had died I would not feel the pain right away. I would have felt numb inside and waited for you to come back. I would've called you and waited for your voice on the other end of the line, not your parents. And it would've been me that was the grenade because when you died, you pulled the pin and I would have a timer of numbness before I exploded and inflicted pain on myself."

"Gus-" Hazel started to say.

"No please Hazel let me finish." I begged.

She hung her head a said in a choked voice, "Of course."

I took a deep breath, "I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you and I've always loved you. I can't wouldn't be able to live without you. You are my other half. And I love you."

Tears were falling down both of our faces and she hastily wiped here away.

"Hazel..." I said. "I don't know if I want to keep on living with me losing my memory."

She pulled my face to hers and whispered, "Don't leave me okay? Don't ever leave me."

"Okay."

And with that, I leaned in and kissed her like today was the last day I would be alive. And in that moment I felt infinite, like nothing else in the world mattered.

She smiled into the kiss and I felt at finally at peace, for the first time since I the accident on the swings.

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