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Grow As We Go by Ben Platt
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She started treatment right away. The only person that knew at the moment was Ronnie and she was starting to get irritated. "I really think you should tell Jake. I know he's on tour, but he needs to know. You promised that you'd tell him."
"Yes, I know. But the time isn't right."
"The time is never going to be right!" Ronnie exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "It's never going to come up in conversation the way you want it to, Delilah. The longer you keep it from him the longer it will fester and the more nervous you are going to be about telling him."
Delilah wanted to argue but she had no counterpoint. Ronnie was right. And Delilah couldn't say that Jake wasn't going to be there for her. He had shown her time and again that he cared for her. So, the only fear that she had was that he would suffer along with her. All she wanted was for him to be happy.
"Delilah, I love you. You're my sister and I'm sticking with you. I just want you to understand that Jake and you are a team. So anything you go through, he's going to be with you. And vice versa."
"I know." There it was. He would be by her side. She wanted him too.
By the third week, her body was starting to show what the Chemotherapy was doing. Her body was losing weight and she could barely keep anything down. "How are you doing?" Jake asked over the phone. She was happy that this time he didn't FaceTime call her.
"I'm doing alright. Just exhausted."
"Was today super busy?"
"No, but I haven't been sleeping very well. But how have you been? Anything exciting happen?" As he answered, she was happy to hear his voice. As he talked about the hiking routes and the beautiful scenery, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous. He didn't have stress about his life like she had. "Are you listening?"
"I am. I'm a little jealous. I would love to have seen it with you."
"You know, I would have taken you with me."
"I know." She swallowed. He had asked but she couldn't go with him. Not with her cancer looming in the background.
"I have to go. I'll see you soon."
"Jake.."
"Hm?"
She opened her mouth. She wanted to tell him, but her voice would come out. She closed her eyes and breathed out. "Nothing, never mind. I'll see you soon." She hung up before he could say anything else. She groaned, putting her face in her hands. Her hands moved down to her mouth, keeping everything she wanted to say inside. She closed her eyes, regretting what she had just done.
She didn't deserve to be with Jake. He liked freedom. He liked to travel. And now she felt like she was holding him down.
Suddenly, the door opened, scaring her. She looked towards it to see Emery, who smiled at her. "Ronnie said I would find you out here." Delilah smiled tightly, scooting over. Emery sat next to her. Delilah felt awkward, so she stared forward. "Before Josh and I started dating, I had - well, I still have to deal with it. I have anorexia." Delilah looked at her. "I used it as a way to be able to control something in my life. I grew up with parents that didn't really care about me."
