The Crackhead Chronicles

The Bathroom Incident

Not too long ago, at a certain lunchtime, the Crackhead Crew had just finished lunch and was getting ready to leave. As per usual, Jordan forced me to go with her to the bathroom so that she wouldn't be alone.

Unfortunately, we were not alone. There was a group of girls, maybe seven or eight of them, standing by the sinks. It wasn't my problem, so I ignored them. One of them noticed the dog and gasped really loudly. The rest followed suit and all moved away from the dog.

Again, really not my problem, so I continued on as normal. Upon entering the stall, I could hear them talking shit about the dog. "If that dog comes anywhere near me, I'm gonna fight it. I don't care if you say it don't bite cause it do." One girl in specific seemed to take a strong disliking to Fluffy.

I exited the stall and allowed Fluffy to walk by my side without me holding her leash. I hadn't washed my hands yet and I didn't want to get the leash dirty. Jordan was already washing her hands. I turned on the sink as the girls noticed the dog once more. Everything went wrong when they noticed her roaming free.

"That dog ain't on the fucking leash!" One girl screamed before running out of the bathroom. Or, rather, she made an attempt to. She ran into the doorway and slid, tripping her companions, who were also attempting to escape. Fluffy was sitting quietly beside me as I washed my hands. I watched in the mirror as the girls fell over sideways onto each other in the doorway. A few were scrambling to get up, one was frozen with fear, nearly all of them were screaming, and the rest were just kind of laying there on the floor.

To this day I still cannot figure out what those girls were doing on the floor instead of getting up. Perhaps playing dead? I'm not sure. Anyhow, I attempted to get a paper towel from the dispenser nearest to me, but it was empty.

This meant that I had to retrieve one from the dispenser near the pile of teenagers on the floor in the doorway. I took a step over to get one, but the dog thought that I was leaving and prepared to follow me. She stood and walked closer to me, and consequently closer to the girls. This started another screaming fit.

By this time, we had a male and female janitor in the bathroom, trying to handle the situation. Throughout the whole ordeal I had kept a straight face, but as I watched the male janitor yell at the girls to get up, I looked over at Jordan and cocked an eyebrow. She just shrugged and chuckled.

I threw away my paper towel, directed the dog out of the door, and watched as the girls screamed and flinched as Fluffy maneuvered past them. I stepped over and out, walking with Jordan back to the table in the nearly empty lunch room where our friends awaited.

Immediately we were bombarded with questions. Questions about the screaming, the janitor, and pretty much everything else. There was also much amusement about how Jordan and I kept a straight face throughout the situation. As Valeria said, "It was like you guys were in an action movie walking away from an explosion."

I haven't told many people about what happened in there, but I will certainly remember those events. Until next time, stay high 🦑🤠✌🏼😉👌🏼👀👊🏼