Be Mine

// t w e n t y - f i v e //

::chapter twenty-five::

‘Sanghyun sorry... I’m so sorry for leaving you like this, for turning my back away from you... for everything. Sorry for hurting you and for cancelling our wedding.  Sorry for cheating on you... I’m just so sorry for everything.’

‘Sanghyun... please don’t hate Jiyong... it was not his fault. It was all my fault...he never forced me into it for I am the one who initiated everything. I’ll be honest to you... I’m tired Sanghyun, tired of everything, tired of my life, tired of you, tired of the relationship but most of all tired of myself.  Please believe me when I said I loved you because I do, I did and I will always love you but Sanghyun sometimes love is not enough to make everything work out. I tried. Believe me I tried so hard but in the end I just got bored of it, tired of it,’

‘You are perfect, you are lovely, you are sweet and you are everything... every woman envy me... but Sanghyun that’s exactly what my problem is... you are too perfect, too good that it was slowly poisoning me... to the point that I wanted to run away from you because you are pressuring me without you knowing it, I felt like I will never meet your standards, that I won’t satisfy you and it was scaring me. I wanted to break up with you but I can’t bring myself to... then Jiyong came, and he became a great escape for me... but then when you caught us, I was drown in too much guilt that everything was starting to be so hard for me... that I could no longer take it,’

‘I’m sorry for not being a perfect girlfriend, sorry for breaking you trust, sorry for the pain I inflicted... I’m just so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for ruining your friendship, sorry for messing up. Sorry for everything. Please don’t give up on him... you can change him, I believe in you, you’re a man full of love anyways... you can do it. Only you can do it. I believe in you.... I believe so much in you,’

‘I’m sorry. I love you,’

He stared blankly in the air for seconds as he pressed his phone and removed his headphones on his ears. He heaved a sigh as he stared at the sky and the sun that was about to rise. The wind blew hard as he felt his hair danced to it. His lips pressed on a thin line. How many times have he heard it? How many times have he listened to it since that day? He can’t count, he lost count. He tightly closed his eyes as he brought his arm over his eyes as he let pain numbed his body.

It was his fault he knew it from the start but then he refused to accept that fact he refused to accept that everything was his gaddamn fault. He refused to understand everything and put the blame on Jiyong and because of it he hurt not only him but also his sister. He even put her sister’s life on the line. It was never Jiyong who was taking everyone from his life, it was himself who was doing that shit and he knew about it yet he can’t seemingly to accept it. And right now he was committing the same mistake again.

He stood up and placed both of his hands inside his pockets as he started to pace to the door of the hospital rooftop. He then descended down the stairs as he walked quietly to her room. He gently turned the knob and pushed the door open as he was welcome by the sight of him gently placing a blanket over his sleeping mother on the room’s couch. Jiyong glanced at him for seconds. After placing the blanket he then went to the edge of Dara’s bed as he held her hand gently and started saying things.