The Existence of Carrie Griffith (5SOS) [Editing]

Chapter Forty-Five: Last Day

Since we had the whole day for stupidity, we decided on going to the park first and wreaking havoc there. Michael took his horse head and ended up terrorising several children, much to their mother’s annoyance and disgust. I had to apologise on behalf of him and I think I confirmed to the California mums that Australians are all idiots.

We then went go-karting. Calum and Luke were having a small argument about who was going to win before Ashton the peace-keeper broke it up, and declared that, since he actually had a licence, he would crush us all. I was quietly confident I could beat them, until I remembered that I haven’t driven since Christmas in Rocky, where I nearly killed several cows, including our main bull Schiesse (or ‘shit’ in German. Our bull is ‘bull-shit. Blame Alex) because of my reckless driving. I was probably going to lose.

We got into our karts, put our helmets on and had our moment of feeling like Michael Schumacher or Mark Webber or Valentino Rossi or Lewis Hamilton before the lights above us turned green and we hit the pedal. Well Ashton and I did. We hit the pedal that was in charge of acceleration. We were speeding down the track in our go-karts, wondering where everyone else was. As we completed lap one, it was clear that some didn’t know what the hell they were doing as Ash and I ended up yelling advice on the way past. Eventually the three Stooges joined us for one lap before the session was over. Luke and Calum were so annoyed the only we could console them was with a Taco Bell run. I paid for it all and was repaid with hugs. Lots of hugs.

“I feel special!”

“You are special Carrie.” Ashton stated and I put one foot up the chair like a superhero pose and looked philosophically into the distance, or the spot where the wall meets the ceiling.

We went to Madame Tussauds on Hollywood Boulevard and Calum immediately found Katy Perry. He took several selfies with her before we had to physically drag him away.

“My wife. My lovely. My precious!” He cried as we walked into the history section of wax figures. They got bored quite quickly in the history section, although they did get photos with Nelson Mandela. We quickly moved to the actors. I found Johnny Depp and basically clung to him.

We left feeling contented as we’d just ‘met’ so many wonderful people. Calum had met his true love in Katy Perry so there was no bringing him down from cloud nine. We stopped at Panda Express and got a late lunch and returned to the house.

“Carrie, have you enjoyed your time on tour?” Calum asked as we ate.

“Heck yeah. It’s been legendary.” I grinned and they all whooped.

“What were your first impressions of us?” Luke asked.

“Well I thought you were too tall. You actually terrified me. Then I realised you were about as dangerous as Winnie the Pooh.” I laughed. “I thought Ashton was incredibly happy and giggly. I thought Michael was a little bit scary, but also a bit misunderstood.” They all looked at me like I was an idiot.

“That is the most cliché thing I have ever heard.” Ashton said.

“Whatever. And my first impression of Calum was horror, because the first I ever saw him, he was naked.” I shrugged casually before we all burst out laughing. “That is not how you woo a girl Calum. Nudity is a big no-no until at least date three.” I pointed out and he simply grinned.

“It’s pretty big though.” He smirked.

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about Carrie.” I felt myself blushing.

“You expect me to answer you?” He shrugged that set off the four arguing about who has the biggest dick. I got changed into my swimmers and went for a quick swim and the band soon joined me.

“I miss Ketchup.” Ashton sighed.

“Me too.” Luke moaned. They looked like they were talking about a person.

“There’s ketchup in the fridge?” I offered. They all gave me flat looks until they caught on that I legitimately had no idea what they were talking about.

“Ketchup was a foam dog we had last year on the Take Me Home tour.” Michael chuckled. “He was Chip, then Smiths, then Ketchup. Ketchup he stayed.”

“Sounds like you guys had a wild time.”

“That’s an understatement.” Calum laughed. Ashton insisted on telling the world about how stupid I was.

“Hey guys. We’re just going for a swim. Carrie here had no idea about us until she met us. She knew we existed but that’s about where her knowledge ended. Anyway, we were just saying how we missed Ketchup – our dog from last year. And she says ‘there’s ketchup in the fridge’.”

“Hey. As you said, I didn’t know anything about you until I met you in Glasgow. How was I meant to know you had a pet foam dog?” I pouted.

“She’s an idiot.”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway, we’re coming back to Australia for a month before we go on the Stars, Stripes and Maple Syrup tour. We leave tonight.” Luke explained.

“Weww!” Ash yelled and the Keek ended.

*******************************

Michael and I were lying on the couch watching How I Met Your Mother. We thought about inviting Luke since this was probably his favourite show ever, but then we decided against it because we’re great friends. Mikey ran his fingers through my hair and it was comforting. I was soon asleep and I felt lips press against the back of my head. I gave a murmur in response before I felt myself being lifted and carried away. Turned out, Michael was carrying me upstairs to my bedroom.

I woke up when Ashton and Calum shook me awake.

“It’s 6 o’clock. We leave the country in three hours!”

“Holy shit what!?” I jumped up and the boys stepped back.

“Hurry up and get dressed. We have to be at LAX at 7.” I was up. I was definitely up. I found a pair of high-waisted genie pants I was yet to wear. I put them on over a white t-shirt. I found a pair of gladiator sandals and fixed my hair that was a Kingsley-grade mess. I met the boys downstairs and we packed up all of the food we needed to take back while the Vegemite would stay for when they returned. Michael packed up the PlayStation and all associated items and we put all our stuff in the living room. A car arrived to take us to the airport and we climbed in, surrounded by pieces of luggage.

“This is mental.” I sighed as we drove down the freeway.

“What is?” Michael had his arm around me.

“We’re going home.”