in which a little bit of closure is all that's needed
"Y/N."
Cameron stood in front of you with a drink in his hand and a sense of nervousness in his eyes as he smiled at you. Your face mirrored the same look of queasiness as you stared at your ex boyfriend. "Cameron. Nice to see you again."
Cameron nodded his head in agreement. "Always a pleasure, Y/N." You could feel your cheeks burn as you noticed Cameron's eyes scanning over you as if he was analyzing you. It's been a while since the two of you were in each other's presence but Cameron still managed to keep you on your toes.
A moment of silence passed between the two of you, the only sound heard was from everyone else enjoying themselves at the party the two of you were at. It's been years since the two of you saw each other. Do you congratulate him on his new movie? Does he ask how does it feel to finally be out of uni? It was a weird line for you to cross for the two of you weren't each other's exes, you were each other's firsts. First kiss, first relationship, first love, first time. First heartbreak.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N."
You closed your eyes to stop the tears from cascading down your face as you wrapped your arms around yourself.
Cameron wiped his bloodshot eyes as he stared at you. "I was drunk. I was so drunk and I was missing you so much."
Your head whipped towards Cameron, your eyes narrowing. "Are you saying that you cheating was my fault? Because you missed me, you decided to sleep with some random girl!" You stood up, suddenly wanting to get as far away from the person that once made you feel like you were home.
Cameron stood up just as fast as his hands grabbed at his natural curly locks. "No! Of course not! I wasn't in the right mind space and that being mixed with alcohol-
"You have some bloody nerve to sit here in front of me blaming alcohol and you being horny. You cheated on me, Cameron! I could never forgive you for that!"
Cameron's eyes went wide as you turned to leave. He quickly went to grab your hand but you were quick to turn around and slap him.
Cameron stared at you with shocked and tearing eyes. You were breathing hard, trying not to break down in the middle of the apartment. "Don't ever talk to me again."
Moving on from Cameron was the longest, most toughest thing you've ever had to do in your life. Cameron was the first person to ever make you feel beautiful and loved. But Cameron was also the first person to ever make you feel small and question your worth.
Cameron always thought cheating was the most vile thing someone could ever do. So when he cheated on you, he felt absolutely disgusted with himself for a long time. It made him question who he was as a man. You were the most perfect thing Cameron has ever had in his life. Why would he let you slip out of his hands by doing such a stupid thing? Why would he throw away not only his relationship with you but also the beautiful years of friendship the two of you shared?
Cameron cleared his throat. "I didn't know you were friends with Thomas" Cameron pointed out before he took a sip of his drink in his hand. You nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself. "Oh. Yeah, I met him through a friend. Quite a party this is" you said as your eyes wondered around all the colors and fun going on in the room.
Cameron let out a small chuckle. "Yeah. That's Thomas for you." You nodded your head, your eyes looking everywhere else but Cameron. Cameron on the other hand couldn't look at anything else but you. "You look beautiful, Y/N."
You bit down on your bottom lip as you stared at your empty glass that you so badly wanted to refill. Cameron continued, "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
Your eyes closed momentarily as you let out a deep breath. What felt like forever to Cameron, you finally opened your eyes and looked at him. You nodded your head slowly and agreed, "Almost three years."
Cameron placed his drink on a nearby table before he grabbed his bottom lip, a habit he had whenever he was nervous. "Listen, Y/N. I never had the chance to apologize for that night."
Cameron immediately closed his mouth when you placed your hand up to interrupt him. "Please, Cameron. Not now."
Not being able to handle the tension any more, you turned your body to walk away until Cameron gently placed his hand on your arm.
"Y/N, don't you think we should talk about it? Get some...closure?"
You turned your head to look at Cameron. "Closure? I needed closure when you fucking cheated on me three years ago. Why didn't you come after me? Why did you let me walk away?"
Your words shocked both you and Cameron. You didn't know if you meant the words leaving your mouth. Would you have forgiven Cameron if he fought harder for your relationship? Would you guys still be together to this day? Would you guys have come to this party together. With how things ended so quickly, Cameron wasn't sure you wanted him anymore. There were so many things Cameron wanted to do, wanted to say but he didn't; next to cheating on you, letting you walk away without Cameron telling how much he loved you was a big regret in his life.
You shook your head as you looked up at Cameron. You moved your body away from his. "Goodbye, Cam." And with that, you walked away from Cameron for the second time in your life.
You let out a sigh as you stared at your phone to check on the status of the Uber you just requested. You looked up to the sound of Cameron shouting your name.
As Cameron walked up to you, you wrapped your arms around yourself. Cameron shook his head, "I'm not letting you walk away again."
You shook your head. "Please, Cameron. Don't."
"I love you."
You were about to protest, about to tell Cameron that he was delusional but Cameron was quick to continue, "I've loved you since we were kids, I've loved you since we were 18, I've loved you my entire life. And cheating on you was the most stupidest, most vile thing I've ever done. And I will never forgive myself for it. I promised you that I would always protect you from whatever that would hurt you. And I broke that promise when I was the one that ended up hurting you."
Your lips trembled as tears started to flood your eyes. Cameron let out a sniff, his own eyes filling with tears. "When we broke up, it was the hardest thing. Not only did I lose the person I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I lost my best friend. I couldn't tell you how devastating it was when i couldn't share all the littlest things in my life with you, like how Maya's got a boyfriend, or that my fucking movie career was doing so well. And you know what absolutely breaks my heart, Y/N? I couldn't tell you when I could. If I didn't ruin us, I could've. Me and you could've been together. We could've been married. We could've had kids together if I didn't ruin everything."
You didn't notice that with each word Cameron was saying, he was inching towards you. Cameron placed his face onto the crook of your neck as he let out a loud sob, not caring who saw.
Slowly you wrapped your arms around Cameron, trying to choke down your own tears. It was in this moment that you knew how badly the two of you needed closure. You realized that the both of you made a mistake with how you guys ended. Because of your mistake, the both of you bottled up so many emotions and went without each other for too long.
This was the closure you both needed.
