Writing advice - Tips to tighten your prose!

2. Lose low-load adjectives

LOSE LOW-LOAD ADJECTIVES

Low-load adjectives are descriptors that add little meaning or style to a sentence, yet they creep in out of habit.

EXAMPLES:

– She suddenly noticed that her previously clean shoes were now covered in dirt.
– He was fairly sure that he had almost completely made up his mind.

Low-load adjectives add up over the course of a chapter, slowing pacing and dulling impact of otherwise-punchy sentences. What's worse, writers tend to have pet adjectives that they pepper throughout a story. The repetition becomes grating.

Mine are "little," "really," and "just."

Before – "I felt really sorry the next day, but just couldn't bring myself to apologize for our little argument."

After – "I felt sorry the next day, but couldn't bring myself to apologize for the argument."

Low-load adjectives muffle impact

I'm not alone in overusing words like "little" and "really" and "just." Interestingly, these words have something in common: they push the significance of a statement up or down. I was really mad. I was a little mad. I was just mad. It's possible authors use tone-muffling adjectives out of a fear of expressing strong moods – a fear of being melodramatic.

"I was really tired" instead of "I was exhausted"

"I was a little mad" instead of "I was miffed"

"The car was basically gigantic" instead of "The car was gigantic"

"The food was one of her favorite things about campus" instead of "The food was her favorite thing about campus."

Sometimes you won't want to go all-in on an emotion, but if you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself why. Does my character actually have another favorite thing about campus, or am I trying to hedge my bets? Can the car be gigantic, or must it be "almost gigantic?"

If you notice yourself downplaying a statement's emotional height, ask yourself why.

Low-load adjectives demonstrate trends... unnecessarily

Another set of "low-load adjectives" is trend-indicating adjectives. The author states that something is starting to happen or has just happened.

"The morning light had already spread over the garden" vs "The morning light had spread over the garden"

"Everyone had just finished leaving" vs "Everyone had left"

"She was starting to get hungry" vs "she was hungry"

How's this for a double-whammy? "She was getting a bit hungry."

Low-load adjectives can also be used to convey sequentiality. The word "then" is notorious in this regard.

Before – "He examined her face. Then he turned to leave."

After – "He examined her face and turned to leave."

Or – "He examined her face before turning to leave."

I understand the temptation to convey the sequentiality of statements; to give a sense of time. But trust your reader! Reading sentences in order will properly convey the order in which things happened.

All things in moderation!

As always, these examples are mostly worrisome when overused. Low-load adjectives are useful for diluting sentiment, slowing pacing in pensive moments, and establishing voice. Not every word of a story must be strictly utilitarian. The effect is cumulative: if you use "really" sixteen times in a chapter, this is something to notice. :)

Question:

Go through a chapter of your work; do you notice any low-load adjectives? I asked a few friends, and theirs are "actually," "kinda," "very," and "quite."

What are your pet low-load adjectives? Leave a comment, I'm curious :)