Today my life Begins

Chapter 9

Kiana lay staring up into the darkness that enveloped the room, listening to the gentle swish of the waves breaking on the shore, that drifted through the open balcony door. She heard muffled voices coming from downstairs and assumed Bruno had woken Ryan, who had been sleeping peacefully when she had crept into the lounge on her way to bed and turned off the small lamp, that was casting a soft glow over the room .She tried to process the earlier conversation with Bruno, she so wanted to believe that what he'd told her was the whole truth, but something was niggling at her. She lay there, the soft hush of the waves lulling her to sleep, eventually her eyes grew heavy and she drifted off.

Downstairs Bruno had woken Ryan up and after flicking back on the lamp, was now deep in conversation with him about the nights events. Bruno sat opposite Ryan, bent forward his elbows resting on his knees his hands clasped, while staring at the floor.Bruno was thinking back to the early days of his new found fame. He knew better than anyone that drunken nights often led to meaningless one night stands with random women, some of whom's names he didn't even bother asking. They were just another willing fan, happy to give him what he needed. He could turn on the charm and sweep them off their feet, and ultimately get them in to bed and satisfy his sexual needs. He would get their phone numbers and promise he'd call them, but usually that never happened, he'd fulfill his needs and forget them as they closed the door when they were leaving. Kiana was different this hadn't started with a drunken meeting, hell they'd been seeing each other for months before they eventually had made love. Bruno thought for a minute that was the difference, it wasn't just sex with Kiana it was love.  Ryan yawned and rubbed his tired eyes then stared at Bruno waiting for an answer to his last question.

"So... did.. you... fuck... her?" he repeated slowly. Bruno's head shot up bringing him out of his thoughts "No man, I swear I didn't". Ryan focused his gaze on Bruno noticing that Bruno was playing with the gold ring on his finger, a sure sign something was bothering him. "So what the hell's eating you?", again he waited for Bruno to respond, but Bruno just kept twisting the ring round and round his finger. "Bru speak to me bro" he asked. Bruno rubbed his palm over his face and let out a long breath. "OK I didn't fuck her". Ryan sighed "So what did you do?" Ryan asked. He'd known Bruno since they were little kids, they were best friends. When Bruno made it big he'd made a point of bringing Ryan into the mix, and so Ryan became his personal assistant. He knew all of Bruno's failings and mistakes that had been made over the years. They had always told each other everything including their first sexual encounters, and intimate details of subsequent exploits. "Like I said I didn't have sex with her, but I might have let her start to give me a blow job" he closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands, just realizing the enormity of his last statement, the guilt was beginning to consume him. "How the fuck could I do this to Kiki, what sort of boyfriend am I" he paused and before Ryan could speak he continued. "I never meant it to happen but Christ she sat in my lap and started kissing me, next thing I know her hands were down my pants, and"...he broke off sighing deeply and shaking his head as the image invaded his brain.

"You fucking did what!, are you fucking insane" Ryan hissed he knew Bruno could be easily led especially when he had his drunk brain in operation. "I knew it was wrong bro, and I swear I stopped her, I just kinda got caught up in the moment .....and it felt so good I didn't want it to stop" he paused "But I did bro I did stop her, and I was up and outta there in a heartbeat". He shook his head trying to get rid of the image. "Oh fuck Ry what the fuck have I done, but....but" he stuttered "I mean you know, someone else's" his voice trailed off not wanting to finish his sentence. Ryan glared at  him "Bro I can't believe you allowed that to happen, how would you feel if Kiki let some dude stick his hands in her pants?" Bruno's head bent towards the floor again, he sighed deeply, he knew he would go ape shit with Kiana if some guy had done that. Bruno shook his head trying to rid himself of the image, while the realization that he could probably lose Kiana over this began to dawn on him.

"Oh fuck what do I do Ry?".  "Bruno you gotta tell her the truth, what happens if she finds out from someone?" Ryan stood up and went over and sat next to Bruno and placing an arm round Bruno's shoulder gave him a brotherly squeeze. "What happens if she leaves me Ry what do I do then, I love her so much, I can't lose her, I just can't". Ryan leaned forward so his face was level with Bruno's, Bruno turned and looked at Ryan, the mixture of guilt and worry etched into his features. he knew this was going to be hard for Bruno, but he also knew that Kiana deserved the truth.

"Bro you gotta tell her, she deserves the truth" Ryan said quietly, "And you just gotta hope she can forgive you, you've got some serious grovelling and apologizing to do. Does Kiana know that you used to go out with Mari before you left for LA?". Bruno just shook his head he hadn't really discussed ex's with Kiana. That was his past and he never thought for a hot second an ex girlfriend could become a major problem between him and Kiana. I mean they were just kids back then he was barely eighteen when he'd left Hawaii to pursue his dream. They both sat there for what seemed an eternity neither of them spoke, while Bruno quietly processed the thought that this could be the end of his relationship with Kiana.

 Bruno knew he had to tell Kiana the truth but his mind told him to wait till after Christmas, I mean why fuck up Christmas for her, and probably the rest of his family, he was sure they would eventually find out about his dirty little secret. Bruno sat there a million thoughts running round his head, he knew this was all his fault and he knew he had to tell Kiana, but how?. "Maybe I should wait till we get back to LA and tell her then" he sighed. The words were leaving his mouth but in the back of his mind he knew that if he waited they could put this behind them. If he waited Kiana would eventually forget about tonight and he'd never have to tell her the truth. Not telling her what really happened meant they'd move on and this whole horrible sordid affair could be buried away, never to be mentioned again.

Ryan went back to the couch he had occupied and laying down turned to Bruno " Bro try and get some sleep it's Christmas eve tomorrow and it's gonna be hell round here" he sighed deeply and settled back into the soft leather couch. Bruno nodded and flicked the small side lamp off. Laying back he closed his eyes, if only his brain would switch off. He found himself saying a little prayer in his mind.... "Please God I know what I've done is unforgivable and I know I really don't deserve her love, but please just let me forget this and move on". He sighed and added " I don't think I could survive without her". He flipped over to face the back of the couch. His heart felt extremely heavy carrying the weight of his guilt. Eventually he drifted off to sleep, but not until he had wrestled with his mind trying to think of exactly how and when, if ever, he'd break this terrible news to the woman he loved with the all his heart.