Today my life Begins

Chapter 23

The day of Bruno's mothers funeral had been a day of sadness and reflection. It was attended by her immediate family and a few of her very closest friends. It was a quiet sedate affair, just as she had always said she'd wanted it. That was 2 days ago and her children were trying to come to terms with their mothers passing. Bruno sat alone in the garden his mind a turmoil, he still couldn't decide whether this planned tour was going to actually go ahead. He'd spoken to Brandon, his manager  earlier in the day and he had advised Bruno to think hard about it. He hadn't wanted to push Bruno on the matter, but he knew the costs of cancelling now would be astronomical. Bruno had assured Brandon that he would think about it, hell he'd wrestled with nothing else for 3 days now. Letting out a deep sigh Bruno rose to his feet and made his way down the garden to the gate leading onto the beach. As he passed the huge Hibiscus bush he gently plucked off one of the largest red flowers and carried it with him to the sea shore. He and his siblings had all placed red hibiscus flowers at Bernadette's graveside during the funeral service, they had been her favourite flowers.

Bruno walked along the shoreline, staring out to the turquoise ocean as the small waves lapped at his feet. He kept walking till he reached a small outcrop of rocks, he'd often go there when he was young, it was his 'thinking spot' as he used to put it. He climbed onto the rock and sat in his usual spot gazing out over the waves. "Mom I know you're gone" he began " I'm finding it hard to cope, I just can't imagine my life without you in it" he paused. "But I know I have to try and carry on, not just for myself but for the others too". He twirled the stem of the flower he still held between his thumb and fore finger. "I'm just not sure if I can do it... you know this tour". He slipped his shoes off and set them on the rock next to him. Dangling his feet into the clear blue ocean. He gazed out across the vast expanse of water. His eyes focused on that place where the ocean and the sky became one. That was the place where when he was young his mom would point to and tell him ' the whole world's out there my little Brunito. One day you're going to go out into that wide world. One day my beautiful boy, the whole world will know your name. Her words played in his mind. This tour. This was his chance to make the world sit up and take notice. This was his time to shine, to show all those doubters his talent. It was supposed to be his time, but now he wasn't even sure he'd be able to even walk onto those stages. In front of the thousands of fans he'd acquired since he'd released his first album. Now he'd released his second album. Now he was going to play arenas. Yes he was supposed to be doing all this and he'd been so ready, but now he felt that his life was spiralling out of control. He returned to voicing his concerns out loud. "To be honest mom I've thought of nothing else these past couple of days, it's driving me insane". He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed and continued speaking out loud as he gazed off into the distance. "I know it's my decision whether we do it or not.... but I feel if I don't do it I'll be letting so many people down....including you.... and that's just something I can't do". He twirled the red flower between his fingers, as his eyes shifted to look at it. He lifted the delicate flower to his lips and softly placed a kiss to the velvety petals and dropped it into the ocean. "This is for you mom, I know they're your favourites" he smiled a little as he thought of how when he was growing up the house was always full of flowers. He sat for a while watching the flower drift off, gently bobbing in the ripples as it floated away.

Bruno got to his feet and picked up his shoes, then turning to look at the flower one last time quietly said "I'm gonna go now, Bye mom I love you" a single tear trickled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. He was just going to make his way down the rocks when he stopped and turned back towards the sea. "I almost forgot this is for you too" he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the small laminated card. He gazed at it lovingly and smiled at the small photo of his mom, and printed beside it read 'Bruno's mom'. It was a backstage pass he'd had especially made for her, she'd laughed saying, she wanted everyone to know she was Bruno Mars mom, so Bruno had simply had Bruno's mom printed onto it. He carefully wrapped the navy blue ribbon around the card and tossed it into the sea. "I know you'll always be there when I perform, watching over me, I miss you mama". He stood for a second watching the little card as it bobbed for a second on the surface of the clear blue waters, then disappeared beneath the waves, then he turned and made his way back to the beach.