Today my life Begins

Chapter 10

Bruno sat in the brown comfy chair. His knees bent up his feet resting on the chair, his arms wrapped around his legs. He gazed out of the window beyond the garden and out to the ocean, he was deep in thought, unaware that Kiana had been watching him for the last twenty minutes. He'd spent the last hour going over and over in his mind how he would tell Kiana the terrible events of last night. "Hey you" Kiana said quietly, Bruno jumped and swung his head round to see her propped up on her elbow gazing at him. "Jesus Kiki how long you been awake?" he asked as he placed his hand over his heart. "Talk about giving someone a damned heart attack" he took a couple of deep breaths, as his heart rate slowed to a more normal pace. "I'm sorry I've been awake for a while, I've just been laying here watching you" she paused. "You look worried B, talk to me please, what's on your mind?". Kiana got out of bed and went over to Bruno kneeling in front of him and taking his hand in hers she gently rubbed the back of it, then placed a soft kiss on it. She gazed into his face searching for some kind of response. Bruno dropped his gaze unable to look her in the eyes, ashamed of his indiscretion that was now eating away at his thoughts.

Immediately Bruno tensed, how could she be nice to him not after what he had done. In that moment he knew he had to say something, he had to clear his conscience, he couldn't spend the whole of Christmas with this weight on his mind and the feelings of guilt weighing his heart down, even if that meant losing her forever. He took hold of Kiana's arms and lifted her from the ground, shuffling over he pulled her onto the huge chair beside him and took a shaky breath, this was going to be hard but it had to be done.

Kiana knew in her heart that he was about to tell her things that she didn't really want to hear. How bad and devastating what she was about to hear though, she had no idea. She said a little prayer in her head hoping he wasn't about to break her heart into a thousand pieces. Her heart raced as she stared at the top of Bruno's curly head and waited for him to speak. "Kiki about last night I need to tell you something". Kiana's body tensed as she wrung her hands together. This was it, this was the moment her whole world was going to fall apart. Her heart began to beat rapidly, convinced he was about to utter those fateful words....I slept with her!. Bruno took hold of her hands and lifted his gaze to hers. "Last night I walked a girl home, a girl I've known since we were kids". Bruno paused trying to form the right words to say to her, but there were no right words. "This girl, erm we dated before I left for LA, we were over long before I met you". "Bruno just tell me what you did" Kiana blinked in a vain effort to stop the flow of tears that threatened to fall any minute. Bruno's heart was breaking as he looked at the sadness that filled Kiana's face. How could he have done something so stupid, something that could end his relationship with Kiana in the blink of an eye. Bruno took a deep breath "Kiki I didn't sleep with her you have to believe me, I would never do that to you". He gently stroked Kiana's cheek and softly whispered "I love you too much". A single tear ran down Kiana's cheek and Bruno gently wiped it away with his thumb.

"Jesus Bruno will you just tell me what the hell happened, I can't go through Christmas feeling like this" she paused "Bruno I'm dying inside". Tears began flowing freely, Bruno hurriedly wiped them and pulled her close to his chest, holding her while she gently wept. Her body shook as she wept, the feelings of guilt and sorrow consumed Bruno, her heart was breaking right there in front of him and it was killing him, he sighed deeply.

As Kiana's sobs subsided Bruno lifted her body from him and staring straight into those beautiful brown eyes that he loved, he began to explain his sins.

"Kiana I was telling the truth I never slept with her" he took a deep breath. "But, but I erm, I did let her give me a hand job". He carried on quickly he needed to make her understand that he hadn't let this terrible act continue.  At that last moment he couldn't bring himself to tell her the whole truth and what really happened last night. He had convinced himself that only he, Ryan and Mari knew the real events, and none of them would speak of it again. He could rely fully on Ryan never mentioning it and as far as Mari was concerned he would never have to see her again, and Mari and Kiana would probably never meet. Taking a quick breath he relayed his sorry tale to her."But baby you have to believe me Kiki I stopped her, I didn't....you know let her finish" he winced as he uttered those final words. Kiana stared at him unblinking she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Standing she walked to the door and with a glance over her shoulder she left the room. She stepped across the hallway and into one of the three bathrooms in the house. Closing the door quietly she leaned her back against the door, tilting her head back she rested it on the door. Slowly she slid her body down the door till she was sitting on the floor, she pulled her knees up and hugged them tightly. No sound came from her but tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She was in shock she couldn't comprehend what Bruno had just told her, how could he allow himself to do that, why, was she not enough for him.

Kiana sat there quietly processing her thoughts and feelings for what seemed an eternity. He was drunk that was it she thought, trying to find reasons for his betrayal of her. He got caught up in the moment, she realised she was trying in her mind to find excuses for him. Shaking her head and getting angry at herself for the idiotic thoughts penetrating her mind she eventually got to her feet, she unlocked the door and stepped out. She stood in front of the bedroom door her hand on the doorknob trying to find the courage to enter. She didn't want to have a full blown row with him, not at Christmas time and definitely not in his mothers house. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and walked in. Bruno had never moved from his spot in the chair, his head turned as she entered the room. Immediately he rose and hurried towards her. He dropped to his knees in front of her and clasped his arms around her waist and buried his face into her stomach. Kiana just stood rigid her arms hanging by her sides, looking down at the top of his curly head. Bruno's shoulders began to shake as he softly cried into her, Kiana wanted to comfort him but she was the one hurting, she was the one who'd been betrayed, she just stood arms hanging limply by her sides watching him.

Bruno lifted his head and gazed up to her, his eyes red and swollen from his tears. "Kiana please forgive me I'm so so sorry" he spluttered the words out while he continued to cry. She had never seen him this upset before and it touched her heart her anger and bitterness subsiding slightly. She loosened his grip on her and sat on the bed patting the spot next to her. Bruno got from his knees and sat beside her, he wanted to hold her and kiss her but he knew he had to take it easy, she was fragile and he didn't want to make matters worse.

Kiana sighed "Bruno I believe you didn't sleep with her" she paused trying to control her pounding heart, her hands trembled as she continued. "I love you more than you could possibly know and I'm willing to forgive you". Bruno went to speak but Kiana held up her hand to stop him, she needed to get this out without interruption. " Bruno I need you to understand how much you've hurt me and that there will be no second chances". Her head dropped as a tear fell onto her hands resting in her lap. Bruno's heart broke he hated seeing her like this, especially knowing that this was all his doing. Hell she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, she was funny, intelligent and loyal.Why the fuck did he find it so hard to control himself when he'd been drinking. He made a decision in his mind then, that he would limit his intake of alcohol in the future. He put his arm round her shoulder and pulled her close to him, "Kiki I'll never hurt you again it's killing me seeing you this way" he kissed the side of her head. "I promise". Bruno slid off the bed to his knees and took hold of Kiana's hands kissing them repeatedly, Kiana watched as he lifted his gaze to meet hers. He took her face in his hands and stroked her damp cheeks with his thumbs "I love you so much Kiki, so much", he whispered to her.

Bruno knew in that moment that his love for her was immeasurable, undying, and that he would love her till his dying day. Lifting up so he was level with her face he gently placed his lips to hers, his kiss was soft and full of love. He felt a deep sense of relief, he was aware that it could have been over for them after his confession. Bruno made himself a promise then, that he'd never hurt her again. Well not intentionally he told himself.