Falling Apart - One Direction fanfic

Chapter Nine - The Walk Of Shame

Jessica's P.O.V.

The walk of shame back to the room was the toughest part. It seemed like everyone knew that I'd been out with Harry. But it wasn't a date, just two friends eating food together... oh god, it was a date! I need to keep my guard up around him, I can't afford any mistakes or he'll use them to his advantage.

"Had fun?" Zayn muttered when I shut the door as quietly as I could and tip-toed to my door. I sighed and slowly turned around to see him sitting on the sofa.

"I did actually." I replied. "Why are you so interested in what I'm up to during the days?" I raised my eyebrows at him. His expression changed and he started blushing as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

"I.. er... I guess-" He sighed loudly and looked up at me with an apologizing smile. "Harry is competition."

"What?" I just rolled my eyes at him.

"You don't understand, do you?" He smiled that crooked smile that makes my heart skip a few beats. I shook my head and watched him. He looked like he was trying to tell me something but he couldn't. "I want you all for myself." He mumbled and bit his lower lip. Did he just say that or have I gone mad?

"Ha-ha, really funny Zayn." I laughed awkwardly. Our eyes locked and I saw the pain in his eyes. I regretted saying that right away. "It's late, I'm going to go to bed. Uhm... we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" I quickly said and left him all by himself. I closed the door and sat down, resting my head on the door.

'Why is this happening to me!?' I ran my hands through my hair. I felt the panic building up in me as I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Am I really... no, I'm not. It can't be happening, no way. 'Yes you are, you definitley are.' A voice in my head was repeating itself over and over again. It didn't stop, not even after I'd showered, brushed my teeth or gone to bed. It kept me up all night and it was all I could think of. I didn't get any sleep at all, I even heard Zayn leaving the room in the morning. What surprised me though is that before he left, I heard him slightly opening my door. I'm not sure what he did though but he left shortly after that and that was when I finally got up and prepared myself for the day that awaited.

Two weeks went by and I avoided all of the One Direction boys as much as I could. I couldn't really talk to Zayn anymore and he didn't seem so keen on talking to me either, he hardly even glances my way now. Harry, on the other hand, texts me all the time. Even when I don't answer he keeps texting me and calling me. I feel a bit bad over ignoring them like that but I need to clear my thoughts a bit. And ignoring them now is pretty easy since they've had shows every day for the past week and Zayn hardly comes back to the room, he probably stays with the other lads or something. I couldn't care less anyway... fine, I do care... a lot. The fact that girls from the crew are spreading rumours and claiming that he sleeps around isn't making anything easier. Apparently he's shagged almost all of them. I just can't believe their words. Not after seeing the other side of Zayn. And I can't stop thinking about the things he said to me the other day. Instead of dealing with all of this and actually talking to him and Harry, I've been hiding behind Caroline all the time like the little coward I am and every chance I get to sneak away... I do so. Instead I've seen a whole lot of Naomi instead. She's everywhere and she makes sure that everyone knows about it. I don't like her but I put up with her for Louis' sake. Trust me, if he didn't love her...

"Boo!" I jumped up and screamed as Niall started laughing. He put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me. "I'm-I'm sorry!" He managed to say, all out of breath from laughing.

"You're so mean, stop doing that!" I giggled. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist it." He chuckled. I couldn't help but smiling, his laugh makes me so happy. That's what I like about him. He doesn't cause drama, it never gets weird or awkward around him and most of all; he's so easy to talk to and always makes me laugh. "I haven't seen you for days Jess, where have you been hiding love?"

"I... uhm..." I stuttered and looked into his curious eyes. "I've just been busy I guess." I shrugged. He didn't look like he believed me.

"Really?" He grinned. I just nodded quickly and looked away. "Someone told me you're avoiding him because-"

"Niall! Come on, you're late for rehearsals!" Paul yelled and didn't let Niall finish.

"I'll be there in a minute!" Niall tried to ignore him but Paul was having none of it so he just threw Niall over his shoulder and carried him out to the stage. I laughed at the sight but quickly understood what Niall had tried to say.

Niall's P.O.V.

"You watched her when she was asleep!?" I exclaimed with wide eyes. Zayn quickly put his hand over my mouth.

"Shhhhh, shut up Niall!" He hissed.

"You fucking creep." I whispered. He frowned with a sigh. He'd come to me to get some advice, he's lost and doesn't know what to do.

"I like her... and I enjoy her company." He mumbled with a thoughtful gaze. "The contract has already expired. I'm officially single now and I can take her on a date or something."

"Are you joking?" I just stared him. He knows the rules just as good as meself. No feelings are allowed between us and someone from the crew, it's strongly prohibited. Zayn shook his head with a sad smile.

"At first it was acompetition between me and Harry and it was mostly to get on his nerves but now... I don't know, I care about her." He slightly laughed but not out of joy. "I'm not used to this, it's freaking me out Niall."

"Sort yourself out, man. You know it won't lead anywhere." I snorted. I was a bit hard on him, I know. But he knows aswell as me that he's just wasting his time on something that will never work. Zayn will never be able to stay faithful to her and Jess deseverves someone who treats her like she is their whole life. And besides, she's already got Harry head over heals for her. He's completely smittened by her. That lad is hopeless. Harry's only known her for a short period of time and you should see the way he looks at her...

Jessica's P.O.V.

"Ugh, I'm so tired. All these 'after concert-partys' are killing me." Caroline moaned and threw a tabloid magazine on the table in front of me as she sunk down in the sofa next to me. One of the headlines caught my eye.

'One Direction heartthrob finally single - doesn't waste a minute' Out of curiousity I opened the page and saw the spread about him. Multiple pictures of him with different girls.

'One Direction star Zayn Malik is once again single and the badboy sure lives up to his name as a heartbreaker. The young hottie has been spotted getting very 'intimate' with ladies recently, sources claiming that he brings an awful lot of female friends with him to his hotel room. Pictures are going around on twitter and different websites, has he gone too far this time with the partying?'

"Don't believe in everything you read Jess, most of it is bullshit." Caroline put her hand on my knee with a concerned look. But this isn't, it's true. It's all true. That's why I've heard people leaving the room before and that's also why Zayn doesn't come back to the room until early in the morning. That lying bastard. And to think that I trusted him. This is exactly what I knew was coming, what I feared. For a second I thought that he wasn't like that but this just proves that I was wrong.

"Every single word that comes out of his mouth is bullshit." I hissed on the verge of tears. Caroline put her hand on my arm but I pulled away and stood up.

"Jess..." She whispered with a sad look in her eyes.

"Are we done for today?" My voice was much weaker than I'd thought. I clenched my fists and used all of my strength to fight back the tears.

"Yes but Jess, please listen just don't-" I hurried out of the room, I couldn't listen to another one of Caroline's lectures. I know that I've been stupid without her telling me. I rushed out to the street and took a car back to the hotel. I made sure to not bump into anyone on the way and almost ran to the hotel room where I couldn't fight it anymore. A couple of tears streamed down my cheeks. Even though he's not worth my tears, I couldn't help it. I'd felt a certain connection to him, something really powerful and addictive. Now that everything turned out being a lie I suddenly felt betrayed.

"Jess? Is that you?" No. What was he doing here? He's not supposed to be here!