Mutual Deception

Ball of Confusion

aaHHHHH
Just a ball of confusion
Oh yeah, that's what the (Thomasphere) is today
-Temptations

Logan finished tying his tie. He smoothed the collar and checked his hair. He tried to calm his breathing, which had sped up against his will.

It was strange. Logan didn't feel nervous. In fact, he was calm as usual. But his body didn't care. He chewed on the inside of his lip and clenched his palms, adjusting his tie far too many times.

Logan didn't know when he would appear. All he knew was the general theme of the current conversation: Roman wasn't performing his best. (They all knew that already.)

A statement from Roman appeared in Logan's head: Your cue is coming up. You decide when.

Logan's mind disconnected and his body went limp. His mind dropped down, down, into the room below. He saw Thomas speaking from a 3rd point of view.

[Thomas]: Yeah, well for now, my feelings have to wait, because I have videos I have to make. Even though nothing I create seems to be anything great...

[Roman]: How dare you criticize my work while also utilizing my rhyming skills!? That's like -slaps self- slapping me in the face of my own beautifully manicured... SWORD! -kisses sword-

[Thomas]: Oh, hi Roman.

[Roman]: I'm sorry that everything I make isn't the Creation of Adam... Driver, with his perfectly huge pecs!

Logan silently agreed with both statements.

[Thomas]: No, I'm not saying that I- I don't know what I want.

[Roman]: Well, maybe we should take some time to explore what it is we want.

Logan decided this was his time. He leaned forward, popping into existence. "You know, we can't do that Roman."

Patton waved over-enthusiastically. "Logan! It's Patton!"

Logan ignored Patron and continued. "Thomas made a commitment to regularly sharing content. He must be held accountable." This was true. What would his... "fans," do if he stopped? Thomas... had to. If he wanted this YouTube-thing to work. Even though it wasn't already...

Roman dramatically sighed. "Is this really a time to be harping on due dates, Teach?"

Logan mentally screeched. Where would Roman be if I simply stopped helping? No where. But this wasn't the time for an argument. "This isn't about my regard for punctuality, although I am overcome by a titillating, tingly sensation whenever deadlines are met."

He took a deep breath. "If we continually fail to deliver videos in a timely manner, or even fail to deliver them entirely, then..." Logan struggled for a word or phrase while pulling out his flash cards. He was aware the cards did not make him look intelligent, but there wasn't another solution to the, 'lacking any ability to communicate with someone who can't read college textbooks.' problem.

He looked at the card and and stated, "By the screams of snipped snakes at a Gorgon salon, why would the audience remain?" Logan only realized after saying it that it made no sense. "What?"

"Oh, that's one of mine," Roman said, reaching for the card.

"Ah," Logan replied, handing the card to Roman.

"Thank you--" Roman remembered what they were talking about. "Oh, I DON'T KNOW why the viewers would stick around! They certainly aren't doing it to hear you talking about them so belittlingly."

Logan failed to understand the pure idiocy Roman was excreting from his brain. "...Belittlingly? How is treating their time as valuable belittling them. Are you feeling belittled? Comment below if you're feeling belittled." Logan never ignored the chance for a self-promotion. He liked being able to afford crofters.