The Secrets of Cedar Creek

42 : Butterfly Falls

After Belle's, I plan my break-in to the hospital. Everyone should be gone by now.

As I'm driving my moped with my earphones in my ear, I'm singing along to 'Take On Me' from the Deadpool 2 soundtrack. If you haven't already heard it, or seen the movie, I am highly disappointed in you and you should be ashamed.

It's been so long since I've seen a movie. I think I actually saw Deadpool 2 on one of the annual trips with Sylv's family and mine. I remember him cheekily stealing my popcorn. Sylv never stops talking during movies. It's the only place he can't keep his mouth shut. He isn't the type of person to talk much at all – but in movies it's a different story. I think he just likes to piss off everyone watching.

He talks a lot when he's nervous, too. He's usually such a quiet person, so you can tell he's nervous when he's nervous.

Visiting hours are definitely closed. I literally am going to have to sneak through the security and maybe woo a doctor or two. Jokes, smart guys wouldn't go for me. No offence, Sylv.

Like a stealthy wild cat, I make my way to Sylv's room. Maybe I should sneak Archer some chocolates or something too – but I think he's still not speaking or working properly yet. He's still healing.

I don't know what I'm going to say to Sylv now. I can't imagine his fury has faded. I accused him of killing Paige to hide a pregnancy. What the f*ck is wrong with me?

But after the fire... after seeing him like that – I really thought I might lose him. And in that moment, I thought I'd do anything for him. I'd lose everything for him.

I just can't lose him.

But that's exactly what I've done this whole time. Push him away. Time and time again, I've taken what he's given me and thrown it back in his face. Why is it that I can't do anything right? Why? I should be spending all the time I have left with him, not fighting him.

I walk myself into his room. He's fast asleep. I sigh a breath of relief – I won't have to speak to him which is a half blessing half curse.

I don't know what compels me to do it, but I find myself moving forward. I sit beside him.

I expect him to look peaceful, but he doesn't. His eyebrows are furrowed and he's sweating feverishly. I hope he's not having a nightmare.

I imagine giving him a cringey kiss on the forehead before I go – but I skip it cause some people might find that creepy considering he hates me right now. Then I'm tempted to brush the stray hair from his eyes – then feel creepy again – so pussy out with my hand mid-air above his face.

I'm about to get out – I've been sitting here for less than thirty seconds – because I feel rude welcoming myself in. Even though I'd really consider him my best friend 80% of the time. I'm not sure how he see's me anymore.

The blue light of the hospital rests against his tense expression. For a moment, I feel miserable that my dramatics have made him stressed. All the issues with Paige – maybe he'd be over it by now if I hadn't dragged it on. Maybe he wouldn't feel so much guilt if I didn't force mine onto him.

Tears start welling up into my eyes and a tightness wraps around my heart. I've ruined him.

My hand still rests mid-air above his head. I didn't notice I've paused in this mid-caress position. I shift to move my hand but suddenly Sylv jolts upright.

He grabs my wrist in a flash, growling something that sounded like 'Ricardo', and pulls me closer to him. He pants wildly. He was having a nightmare.

He looks around the room confusedly, then his eyes rest on me. "Rose," he heaves.

"Sylv – I just came to – I just – I couldn't get in earlier... I needed to see you."