Within You

Chapter Four: Don't Forsake Me

Harry found it difficult to keep his eyes open during the lecture about organic versus inorganic chemistry two weeks after he'd poured his heart out to Severus. He hadn't had any nightmares since then, as he'd asked Remus to buy him some chamomile tea, and his godfather had also gotten some Melatonin for him. It helped keep him asleep at night, for about a week, until he ran out of tea and his body got used to the pills.

"Potter!" Severus snapped, slamming his palm down onto the lab table in front of Harry, who immediately shrunk back, his eyes wide, as he stared up at him. "Explain to me the difference of organic versus inorganic chemistry."

"Inorganic compounds contain carbon atoms, and organic doesn't?" he asked.

Severus gritted his teeth in a moment of frustration, before he yanked Harry's textbook into his hands, and flipped to the chapter detailing the differences between the two kind of chemistry and slammed the book back in front of the teenager. "Would you kindly indulge the class on reading this sentence aloud?" he growled, jabbing at the page with his finger.

Harry swallowed, lowering his eyes to the black text upon the page, slightly jumbled due to the age of the printing press, and tried not to scream. "The main difference is in the presence of a carbon atom; organic compounds will contain a carbon atom, and often a hydrogen atom, to form hydrocarbons," he began, "while almost all inorganic compounds do not contain either of those two atoms. Meanwhile, inorganic compounds include the salts, metals, and other elemental compounds."

"You've successfully managed to mix up two different kinds of chemistry," Severus said, turning away from his lab table with annoyance. "You will stay after class with me today, Potter, and discuss why you think that chemistry is unnecessary."

Harry kept his mouth shut, and did his best to listen to the lecture until the hour ran out, and said goodbye to Ron and Hermione, and waved off Neville, Dean, and Seamus. He didn't even bother putting his textbook into his bag; for all he knew, his professor would want to damn him for not catching up on the extra credit reading he assigned each week. Instead, Harry placed his palms upon the cool surface of the desk, hoping that the coolness in temperature would manage to calm him down somehow.

Severus came towards Harry's desk again once the final students had left the classroom, and slammed a stack of papers upon it, right under Harry's nose. "Here is your latest essay that you elected to write for this class, Potter. As you can see, you scored below a thirty-nine, meaning that you failed it."

Harry took ahold of the edges of the essay, feeling his hands shaking as he took in the derogatory comments made by his professor, all in his spindly handwriting, written scathingly with red pen in every available margin space. "Guess I should expect all this from you, shouldn't I?" he demanded under his breath, hating that his voice was shaking as he addressed the man, who had been so kind to him two weeks ago, but now...

"What the devil are you talking about, Potter?"

Harry turned his essay loose, but the crinkles upon its edges remained. "You, and your treatment of me," he declared. "Nothing's changed, really."

"Potter..."

"No!" Harry said, launching to his feet then, gazing at his professor in a moment of courage. "I am not Potter. I'm Harry. Harry," he said, slamming a fist to his chest.

"Potter," Severus tried again.

"Was it all just a lie?" Harry whispered then, searching Severus's face for something, anything, which would hold the key to the man who had been so wonderful to him. "Were you just pretending to know what I'd been through? Did Headmaster Dumbledore ask you to talk to me, to get more information to Scotland Yard?"