Hiccstrid Oneshots!!

NEVER Say That

OMT OMT OMT OMT!!! WE HIT 116 IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS??? I CANT BELIVE IT!!!!!! 

Thank you guys sooooooooo much!!!! Here is a special chapter for you!!!! (sorry its so short) 

Nuffick-15

 Zephyr-18

~Ellie~

Nuffick slammed the door and sank against it, panting. 

"What happened to you?" his father asked, looking up from his chief papers. 

"Yea, I haven't seen you run that fast ever since Mom wanted to cut your hair!" Zephyr teased. 

"Zeph. Haven't we agreed not to traumatize your brother more?" Astrid warned, throwing away a loaf of burnt bread, her latest cooking fail. 

"Sorry." she mumbled. "But seriously, what did you do?" The young man sighed. Nuffick had a girlfriend, Snotlouts and Heathers daughter, Inga. She was the spitting image of her mother, tall and lean, with wide green eyes, and thick, short, curly black hair. 

"Well, Inga asked me if she was fat, and I studied her for a good 30 seconds, then I said-" 

"Oh my Thor Nuffick! Have I taught you nothing!?! NEVER, EVER, EVER, under any circumstances, think about those questions!" Hiccup exclaimed. "Let me demonstrate. Astrid, my dear, would you care to help our poor, lost son?" 

"Not at all." She giggled. Both Haddock kids rolled their eyes. Only Hiccup could make "Fearless" Astrid Hofferson giggle like a ditzy schoolgirl. The Cheiftess crossed the room, and leaned close to her husband, 

"Babe, am I fat?" She asked, making puppy dog eyes while sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. 

"My dearest, my sweetest, my love, you are the splitting image of a Goddess, sent from Valhalla! Us mere mortals are not worthy to be in your presence!" Hiccup cried out dramatically, falling to his knees. Astrid laughed harder.

"Rise subject. I permit you to give me a kiss." she said, grandly, tapping her cheek. Hiccup got up, swept her into a dip, then planted a passionate kiss on her lips. The siblings were both cracking up. They were used to their parents antics, but that didn't stop them from resisting the urge to crawl under the table. 

"You see Nuff? This is why I'm still married to your mother. " He said, earning a smack on the back of his head. 

"What happened after?" Zephyr asked, putting away her sketchbook, where she had been working on a sketch of her friends. 

"Well after I hesitated, her face got really red, then she started throwing things at me, the she started screaming at me. And I then I started running, so she chased me all over the village until I came here." Nuffick finished, playing with a loose strand on his tunic. 

"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE!?!?!?!" Mother and daughter screeched. " APOLOGIZED!!" 

"I don't want to die!" He wailed. 

"Son, Im going to give you some advice my father gave me." Hiccup said, grabbing his sons shoulders and shaking them. "Apologize, with flowers- "

"Flowers? Really?" The young man muttered.

"Yes. Very important. Keep up. Plan a romantic date, and shower with heartfelt kisses, she'll end up like your mother. Picking up whatever you put down." That got a hard punch on his arm. 

"Why it always violence with you?" he grunted. 

"Its not violence, it's communication." Astrid grinned, jutting out her hips. Nuffick nodded, and bolted out the door.

"Did Grampa really give you that advice?" Zephyr asked skeptically. 

"Nope. I just thought it would be fun." He grinned devilishly. "I used to give you mother a week before even looking at her."