Rising From the Ashes

14. Winter Break

By the time I sat down with my parents and reached for the first slice of homemade pie on Christmas day, it was hard to believe that I spent almost two months rebuffing Nick’s advances. The past week had been nothing short of amazing – in a completely different way than when I first started dating Jace. We spent almost every day together, talking and laughing in coffee shops, at parties and at our houses and exchanging constant calls and texts. We have done nothing more than kissing, and that was enough for both of us – I knew that Nick wouldn’t push for more until he knew that I was truly ready.

I spent the remaining time of my first week of winter break catching up with my friends and my family. Jasmine was happier than me, calling me almost every night to give updates on how sweet Mike was. They weren’t dating yet, but that seemed to be on the horizon – I was hoping and praying that Mike would ask her out soon. The only blemish in my winter break was the decision looming over my head: I was nowhere near deciding what I was going to do, and I knew that time was running out quicker than I was truly able to figure things out. I was close to the two-month mark, and my body was starting to show changes that would be impossible to hide in other few weeks. My mother had already made teasing comments about all the damage going to fancy restaurants with Nick was doing to my waistline, but she thankfully did not figure out the truth quite yet.

After spending hours thinking about the baby that was growing in my body last night, I have allowed myself to make a decision after the end of the break, copping out to buy myself another week of thought. I wasn’t ready to break the blissful mood I was in, either by telling my parentsand everyone around me that I was the stupid teenage girl that managed to get herself pregnant at sixteen, or by following on Jace’s advice and going through an abortion, something that was almost too terrifying to even think about.

“Sweetie, are you sure you should be eating three slices of pie?” My mother asked in gentle concern.

I looked at my plate, realizing that I did, indeed, reach for three large chunks of pie and have stuffed them all down without even noticing. I seemed to have been eating for two more and more each day. My jeans were getting unwearably tight – I wasn’t even sure what I was going to pack for the trip tomorrow.

“Sorry.” I said, smiling sheepishly. “I’m just thinking about other things.”

“Excited for tomorrow?” My mom said with a knowing smile.

I grinned widely. “Of course. Thanks for letting me go again.”

“Well, I guess you’re going to start growing up sometime.” My mom said wistfully. “You’re going to be sleeping in Jasmine’s room, right?”

I nodded, feeling grateful for how understanding my mother was. Four days ago, Nick had brought up the idea of going down to a ski lodge that his parents owned several hours drive north. Knowing that I didn’t know any of his friends, or like any of the jocks that hung around him, he offered to bring Jasmine and Mike along and spend a weekend skiing and relaxing. After much begging, my parents have reluctantly agreed, telling to me to share a room with Jasmine and not to drink or do anything they wouldn’t approve of. I accepted the conditions eagerly – it’s not like I was able to do any of those things, and my friends have promised not to drink as a show of support.

“What time is Nick picking you up?” My dad interjected.

“8AM tomorrow. We want to get there early so we can get some skiing in after we unpack.” I replied. We were going for four days, coming back right before New Year’s Eve.

“You better tell that boy that if he does anything to you, I’ll find him anywhere,” my dad growled, but his good-natured smile told me that he approved of Nick much more than he did of Jace. “And call us every day.”