Purple Thunder (finished)

Jealousy

Notes: Pretty much only dialogue. Sorry that this one is shite. A little a bomb at end. It's really, really short. Only because the next chapter is going to be filled with much spicy drama
sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language

Warnings: mentions of cheating, cursing

Oh love. Love is all around. In the streets, in pictures, on Instagram.

Of you course you couldn't keep yourself from stalking her Instagram profile. Reviewing every single post that included Roger just in the slightest, being very careful, trying to leave no evidence behind, which could be resulting in accidently liking a post. Every picture of husband and wife together, smiling and happy made you feel smaller. Guilty, but also jealous. It was still her who could call Roger her own.

Refreshing her feed – a new post. A picture of Sarina and Roger all snuggled up. The caption? Her stating how much she missed him while she was gone, confessing her undying love for him with a quote.

It made you feel sick. The thought that you just had to accept it how it was. The longer you stared at the picture, analyzing all the scenarios that could have happened between them and probably still do, made the situation even worse. Just when you thought the situation couldn't get any worse, the phone rang. Josh.

"Hi baby, how's it going? I miss you so much" he called from the other side of the world.
"Hi Josh"
"Is everything alright? You sound not too well"
You couldn't tell him the truth over the phone, could you?
"Yeah... just miss you that's all" ...not entirely a lie.
"I don't really know if I can believe you" he said, clearly distracted by the sounds in the background. A clear indication that he was on their tour bus.
"I get it if you don't want to talk about it on the phone. But you can tell me in two days in person"
"in two days?" shit
"Yeah? Did you forget? You're flying out to NYC for the last two weeks of tour!"
"oh right. Of course, I know that" this time, it was a lie. How the fuck could you forget that?
"So excited to hear what you've been doing while I was gone! Care to send me some demos of your new music? Or no!! I want to be with you when I first hear it. I can't wait to be with you again, baby. Been so lonely without you"

You didn't say anything. You didn't know what to say, or how to say anything without breaking down, confessing. It was so unfair to him. After everything you've been through together. But you know what they say. All is fair in love and war. Even if it hurts sometimes. [inserts "Too much Love will Kill you]

"I got to go" Josh broke the silence which felt like it lasted minutes when in reality it was just seconds.
"We're on our next stop now, I'll keep texting you though and please call me once you landed safely. I love you, (Y/N)"
"Bye Josh"

1 unread message from: *From: Ruf – Darkness*
" look outside your window x"

Without hesitation, you went to the big window in your living room, looking out for Rufus. He was leaning with his back against the car, that used to be Roger's in the 80's, which he also drove when you went to Roger's house in Surrey. His blond hair was in a bun. When he spotted you, he waved, his phone by his ear. Yours rang.

"Come on down, we're going to have lunch together" he called through the phone with a smile on his lips.
"Alright, give a few minutes"

Throwing on the nearest clothes you could find, you rushed down to Rufus.

"Hi lovie" he hugged you and opened the door to the passenger seat.
"Hi, it's been a while" you got in. So far, so good.
"Cheeky Nando's ok for you?" he laughed, starting the car and diving directly into the London traffic.
"More than ok. How've you been? How's Jess?" Silence in Rufus' presence never used to be awkward, but this time you dreaded any kind of those moments.
"Same as always. My dad told me" What the actual f-.
"I'm sorry, Rufus. I never meant to do that. I don't know what's gotten over me I- "
Rufus scrunched his nose and a weird grimace was plastered on his face.
"Uhm? You're sorry for making a sick album that's going to push my band right down further down the charts? Well, I accept your apology. But only because it's you" he placed his hand on his heart to make the moment as dramatic as he could. This was the first time you felt like having a heart attack and dying on the spot. Your heart was beating so loud, you could feel the blood thumping in your fingertips and your cheeks were burning. He didn't know.

"Anyway, I already know what I want to have for lunch" he smiled to himself, putting his tongue between his teeth. You couldn't deny the resemblance between Roger and him. And it made the situation even harder for you, keeping this big secret from him.

"I'll have a beer and the peri peri chicken, please. (Y/N)? What are you having? This one is on me"
"Just a water, please" you smiled to the waitress as she scribbled down the order.
"nothing to eat?" Rufus asked.
"I'm not that hungry" Rufus gave you a look, he knew that this was asign that something was wrong. You never turned food from Nando's down. EVER.
"You can order something and take it home with you for later" his blue eyes were soft, almost encouraging you. He always looked after you, even when you were piss drunk on tour. Even if Rufus was drunk himself, he wasstill the one that made sure you made it back safe to your room. Almost like a brother. And now you were fucking his dad. FUCK

"Ok. Uh'll have the... Caesar salad"
"Chicken on top?" the waitress asked.
"No thanks" she went off to serve the next costumers.

"so tell me what's on your mind. Has anything happened?" Rufus took a sip from his beer, making a little beard of foam appear above his mouth.
"I don't know. It's... really complicated."
"We've been through so much weird shit together, I'm sure you can't surprise or shock me anymore" hah if he only knew.
You reached forward to play with the that was already placed on the table.
"We're friends. I can keep a secret." His look was so sincere, you wanted to pour all your heart out and tell him every little thing. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he would laugh. But there was also a possibiity he would freak out and want nothing to do with you anymore.

"So...?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I've been cheating on Josh" you said, carefully choosing your words.
"ohhh with who?" he leaned forward like a little girl, that's about to find out the latest school gossip.

The waitress brought the food, saving you from answering that question.
Rufus was quick to dig into his chicken, while you didn't even touch your salad.

"You didn't answer my question. I'm curious. Who is the guy? Do I know him?" he asked with his mouth full of chicken. You didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe dropping some hints would get him to figure it out by himself? Or he could be able to give you some advice?

" He's much older than me."
"A sugar daddy?"
"NO" it came out like a mixture of a squeal and scream.
"alright, alright" he made a gesture for you to calm down.
" That's the problem, Rufus. I really have feelings for him, but... he's also married. But I can't stop thinking about him. It's the little gestures, you know. Every little thing he does..." you got lost in the sentence thinking about the night you spent with Roger.

"ohhh I see... someone's in looooove" he teased.
"Really? That's all you have to say?"
"hey" he put his fork down.
" Sometimes you can't change who you love. Of course, it's bad that you both are cheating on your partners. You need get that sorted out. And so, does he if you want to continue this. It's only fair to his wife and Josh. Or you need stop this affair, or whatever game you're playing."
" not a game! Definitely feelings, at least on my side. Coming clear sounds easier than it is." You sighed, stirring the food on your plate, when a text made your phone vibrate.

*From: Rog*
"I miss you so much my love. Want to see you tonight." You smiled at your phone.

"is that him now?" you nodded, typing a quick reply: "miss you too, come over whenever you're free 😊"

" I've never been in your shoes before, but you know you can call me any time, right? I'll try to help you out as much as I can. And I promise I won't say a thing to Josh"
"thank you, R- "
"BUT" he put his fork in the air. "I'm telling you again, you have to get this triangle sorted out. He seems to make you quite happy, huh?" Rufus said, catching you read Roger's text over again.
"If you only knew, Ruf" you sighed.

"Are you done?" the waitress asked, ready to collect the dishes.
You both nodded.

The drive home remained silent, except for some humming from Rufus.

"Thank you, for lunch, you're the best" you gave him quick hug.
"No worries" he got into his car again, you watched him as he rolled his window down.
"Also, thanks for listening and helping out, I really needed that" Rufus put his hand where the window would go up, his head peeked out of the window.
" I always try to help where I can" he smirked. "oh and by the way. I kn ow everything and I told my dad the exact same thing" he winked, before leaving you behind in the parking lot. Dumbfounded.