UmaI was having a panic attack, it was like all those pent up emotions I carried finally broke me fully. I was neglecting my own mental health to focus on the greater good, my crew.
I started to shake uncontrollably as my knees buckled, Gil caught me swiftly and steadied me.
"Uma, what's wrong?" he asked as I shook my head, my body was full of tremors and my heart was beating a mile a minute.
"Was it what I said?" asked Harry as he walked to stand in front of me, I couldn't look him head on at all.
I usually never did that but he had a way of exposing my weaknesses and insecurities.
"I'm not good enough, you can't love me." I responded after a bit of quick breathing exercises coaxed by Gil.
Gil finally let go of me and pulled away, I sent him off to go find Lei.
"Why not?" Harry guided us inside my room and sat me down on my bed.
Don't get me wrong, I was still very nervous but somewhat comfortable.
"I'm not good enough for you." I stated plainly as he laughed, a genuine laugh. He ran his fingers through his locks and stared at me.
"It's the opposite doll, I was never in your league." he responded as I scoffed,
"Enlighten me, why do you like me?" I asked him , he didn't hesitate on answering.
"I love you, it's because you're amazing, beautiful, melanin, assertive, dominant, unique." He caught his breath, he must've dreamed of this moment for ages,
"You're very strategic, you don't let people run over you, you have confidence in everything you do even your failures, your eyes make me go wild. They're like small chocolate raindrops, your whole attitude is infectious." He grabbed my hand and rubbed it, he moved his fingers towards my hair and started messing with it, he was nervous.
"You aren't perfect but you're my type of perfect. You teach me new reasons to love you everyday. You get confused, I love that. When you're nervous your face morphs into a cute little scrunch, your laughter is music to my ears."
"Every time I see you, it's like I've seen a new you. You've grown so much and come so far. You know I'll forever support you. Anyway,"
"You make me happier than I've ever been, I can't lose you. You're like a rose, sure you have thorns; but you have beautiful petals as well." he finished by kissing my hand and staring me straight in the eyes,
"Please, don't leave me.. I need you. I want to make you mine, I'll wait as long as I need to. I've waited this long, haven't I?" he whispered as I stared.
I was trying to process everything he just said, that means he's known he was in love with me since we were younger? I didn't want to confront my own emotions but here he was confronting his.
"I'm not as strong as you, Harry. I'm scared." I admitted as he pulled me closer towards his body, he rubbed circles on my back.
"You don't have to be, I'm here." he whispered back as I looked up to see that crazy, cocky, and beautiful human being I called my first mate.
"Harry.." I started as he looked down at me expectantly,
"Please don't feed me bullshit, give it to me straight." he answered as I sighed, temperamental as ever.
"I think, I might.." I was looking for the correct wording, I've never been in this position before. Like ever,
"If I have to give you space tell me, if you want me to walk away tell me, if you can't handle me anymore,tell me." he finished, his face held sorrow but some hope.
I didn't want to destroy that.
"I don't want you to leave, I don't want anyone else to have your attention like I do, I don't want any girls talking to you, I want you to be mine." I stated as he pulled back a bit shocked at my confession,
"Do you get jealous?" I nodded as he smiled,
"I knew you wanted to claim me, I was just scared to admit my feelings for you because of my mother. She's tortured me with the idea of love and how it brings you pain."
"It does but I'm here to change that. I've always been here, Uma. You just haven't sought me out." He finished as I pondered thoughtfully on what he said.
He was always so close but I pushed him so far away, because I couldn't handle the idea of myself being in love, ruining what we had and being a fling.
I wanted more than that, I didn't want to be insecure and compare myself to others but it was just so hard.
"I have.. I just. I felt like I'd ruin everything." I whimpered as he caressed my cheek with his middle finger,
"Trust me, you wouldn't. I'd do anything to keep you by my side and no one else's." he admitted as he flicked my cheek, I touched my face suddenly feeling flushed.
"How long have you liked me?"
"Since we were just wee little children."
"Question is, do you reciprocate?" He looked down and pushed his face into his hands,
"Is this too much for you to handle? Are my emotions too strong for you?" he asked himself out loud, I just listened.
"Am I too weak? Too damaged? Am I broken?" he started to tear up,
"Am I a sinner for wanting you?"
I grabbed his hands and forced him to look at me, when he began babbling like that... other things were to come.
"Harry Hook, I like you too.. I think." I quipped as his eyes watered again,
"Do you really? Or am I just am oaf?"
"I think I do, I want to feel you. Your emotions, your body, your warmth, your laughter, your insanity, your words, your mind, your soul.. everything." I finished as Harry grabbed my face and smashed his lips against mine.
I was surprised at first but didn't think much of it considering Harry fought for what he wanted, his kiss sent me a million butterflies.
He grabbed the small of my back and pushed me closer refusing to break the kiss, and I let him.
I moved my hand into his hair and felt the familiar hum of his lips as he relished in the safety.
He stepped back effectively breaking the kiss, touching his lips for effect.
"Uma darling, you are quite the kisser." He remarked as I pushed his shoulder,
"That was out of nowhere."
"I couldn't hold back."
"Can we take this slow?"
"So are we dating now or?"
I stared at him, he was so kindred right now.
Not at all the crazy pirate he could be, secretly I loved that. He was a aggressive shark, only loyal to whom they're close with.
"I want to be your girlfriend, but I want to take this slow." I answered as Harry tackled me and picked me up,
He threw me on top of my bed and smirked,
"Of course we can, Love. I wouldn't dream of rushing us." I smiled,
"So.."
"So?"
"I'll see you tomorrow, Hook." He kissed me goodbye and left without a word.
"If you're going to confess your feelings, at least be quiet." I turned to see Dizzy smiling hard at me,
"Glad you two finally saw the truth."
"And that is?"
"That you're meant for each other."
**
Interesting, they all think they're safe. Just you wait, I'll make sure nobody forgets my name.