Uma
I laid in his arms for what seemed like an eternity, it wasn't his fault I had these insecurities.
I was just insecure about myself, about everything really. All these doubts in my mind wouldn't go away, not even with his beautiful wordplay.
I shifted to the side and slipped out of his grasp, thankfully we didn't have school today.
I checked the time and it read '4:15', that was a good thing considering it was still dark and nobody would be outside.
I slowly rolled out of bed and caught myself so that Harry wouldn't hear me, he was sound asleep.
I ran my hand through his hair while leaning over his body in order to do so, he visibly relaxed.
I threw on a hoodie while I creaked open the door and slid through the small enclosure. I shuffled outside, running a hand through my hair in annoyance.
Why did I feel lost? Wasn't I supposed to feel found? Why am I such a shitty captain? Why can't I fully accept my feelings for Harry? Why am I such a wuss? Why can't I control my powers still?
I sighed to myself, only I knew the answers to these faulty questions.
I sat there in silence reclining my body on the grass, the sky looked so blank.
It was like a canvas just waiting to painted, sort of like me.
Maybe I need to change myself, that could be the problem. Or perhaps I need to let go of my past.
I doubt that'd help.
"It's okay, not understanding things is a part of life." I looked around trying to figure out where that voice originated from, I stared into the darkness but found nothing.
"You can't find me if I'm not there, Uma. I'm in your thoughts talking to you." I huffed as I began to recognize the tone of voice.
" Dad, why're you in my head?"
"You seemed anxious, so I thought I'd try to talk to you."
I huffed again whilst shaking my head, he's so clueless about teenagers but he's trying.
"How are things on your end?" I asked as I shifted my body in order to feel more comfortable on the grass,
"Good I suppose, your sister is getting stronger as the days go on. I still miss my little girl though." I detected a hint of a smile, the way he was talking gave it away.
"I'm also doing pretty good dad, I really miss you guys. And I can't seem to control my powers."
"That tends to happen when you feel strongly, or when you yourself feel out of control."
"Dad, I can't do this. I don't want to feel, I don't want to get hurt."
"Look sweetie, darling. I know it's tough to even show your feelings. Your mother made sure of that, but I'm here to tell you it's okay."
"Who did you feel for?"
"Once upon a time your mother, and sometimes I catch myself still seeking out the goodness I saw in her at one time."
"You haven't given up?"
"Never. Why give up? Why give up on someone who's emotionally unstable and needs me?"
"Funny you say that."
"Look, I'm just saying. But I've got to go. I have work to attend to, being a god and all."
"Yeah, yeah. Goodbye dad."
"Bye sweetie."
I turned my attention back towards the sky, it had started to slowly become littered with different colors.
A beautiful reset.
I slowly got back up and made my way to my dorm, it had probably been hours since I left.
I took a quick shower and put my hair up, I ate some cereal and caught up on my assignments for that day.
Harry started to stir and eventually he got up,
"How'd you sleep?" I asked absentmindedly, I heard the bed cream and before I knew it, he was standing right beside me.
"Amazing, aside from the warmth that I lacked a couple wee hours ago." He replied as he kissed my temple and excused himself so that he could go shower.
I rolled my eyes, leave it to Harry to know everything about me and how I act.
If I didn't know any better, he's more of a over analyzer than I am.
**
School had passed by in a blink of an eye, as per usual.
Gil was back at it, he bounced back quicker than I had expected.
Lei on the other hand, she was a problem that I'd eventually figure out but for now I was more focused on my crew.
I yawned and sat at our usual lunch table, I was so tired.
I couldn't even keep up with the normal conversations that were buzzing around me.
I felt out of focus.
I slowly started to tap my fingers against the table, that soon turned into a full on drum.
"So Uma, what do you think about the plan so far?"
I looked up at Desiree and nodded,
"Were you even listening?"
"No, not at all." I replied as she rolled her eyes and went back to chatting with Harry and Jonas.
I leaned on Gil's shoulder, I could feel his eyes looking down on me but not in a bad way.
More of a quizzical way, as if he wasn't used to me being so clingy and vulnerable.
"I know you aren't okay, I'm glad you were so worried about me but now it's time I worry about you too." I heard him whisper, I smiled to myself.
"Uma, lunch is over." I removed myself from Gil's shoulder and stood up. I felt a bit lightheaded but paid no attention to it.
**
I stared at my door for what seemed like ages, I had no idea what was happening to me.
I just couldn't focus.
I wanted to, trust me. But I just couldn't.
I grabbed my bag and searched for today's homework, I didn't want to do it. But I needed something to occupy my mind.
Little did I know, that would be the least of my worries which seem to keep piling on.
**
Stupid, wrenched girl. Does she really think this is over? Just because I've given her a little peace? Fat chance, she'll learn soon not to mess with me.
She'll learn that I'm indeed the one in control.
And that I won't stop, I will not be swayed, I'm a force to be reckoned with.
She'll learn, they all will.
Now then, where should I start? Preying only her insecurities and mental fortitude seems fun.
Let the fun begin.
