I don't hate you

I would hate to see your heart go to waste

"Pssst! Hey!"

"Hi. I'm so happy to see you."

"You don't sleep in the same bed?"

"Doug agreed we didn't have to a while back. When his drinking problem got bad."

"Well are you going to invite me in or make me stand outside in the cold?"

"If you froze to death at least you'd stop snapping at me."

"Oh shut up," Audrey whispered loudly. She couldn't help but smile at Evie's humor, warming her heart in all the right ways.

"Get in here," Evie grumbled, beginning to help the pink princess inside the window. She shivered at the chilling wind outside nipping at her skin. Loose fitting pajamas covered her in an array of blues, as plentiful in color as the gardens that bloomed outside her bedroom in the springtime.

"He's asleep?"

"Passed out on the couch." The married woman shut the windows as her mistress sat a few feet over on the bed. "Not even fireworks could wake him at this hour." A chuckle slipped past Audrey's lips. She fiddled with a ring on her left index finger. The gem in it as pure and blue as the woman standing before her.

"I'm sorry about today. I didn't mean for Doug to—"

"It's fine. It's fine," Evie interrupted, waving her hand in the air and scrunching her eyebrows in concentration. "I wasn't expecting him to... come in. He's normally good about giving me space."

"There is nothing good about that man," Audrey scoffed.

"He's just hurt."

"Evie! You can't make excuses for him! He abuses you!"

"Only because of the alcohol."

"What, was he drunk all of high school?! Don't let him get in your head." She reached out and took the taller girl's hands. Her eyes rested on Evie's blue nail polish, worn and beginning to chip. She squeezed her hands. "You deserve better than him." Audrey tilted her head upward to hold eye contact with her lover.

Evie admired the forest yet again. Its safety and compassion calling her like a siren. She was an explorer, battling rough seas for years to eventually stumble upon such a siren. An enchanting, captivating siren just like she read about in mythology. She knew what it meant, death most certainly. Her ship would crash into the rocks, manipulated by the goddess in front of her. Though she didn't care. Living a life of love, or what felt like love, for as long or as short as it would be was all she desired.

The blue haired girl released her lover's hands and instead guided their lips together in an embrace of passion. She tasted like toothpaste, Audrey thought. Minty and cool. A smile from her separated them.

"I can't divorce him," Evie whispered, hopeless and distant. "I can't move. I signed my life away." A depressed sigh came from her mouth as she turned to sit down next to Audrey.

"He can die," Audrey spoke.

"No," Evie almost pleaded, tilting her head. For a moment, the pink princess gazed into the dark amber eyes of the woman who had her heart, tormenting her with suspicion. She broke the silence with an audible laugh.

"Eves, come on. Those days are behind me." The pajamaed girl was easily convinced by the kindhearted soul beside her. She knew that smile couldn't hurt a fly, or at least wanted to believe so.

"I can't go to another funeral..." Evie began. "And you love me too much to put me through that again." Audrey chuckled cockily.

"Who said anything about love?"

"Today, when you were leaving. Or, rather, kicked out."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she half snapped, seemingly becoming defensive of the accusation. "We're fuck buddies."

"Right, sorry. Because fuck buddies climb into each other's windows at night at have deep conversations."

"Evie, I'm serious." She stood from the bed. "If you think I have feelings for you, you're wrong. I'm sorry if I sent you some kind of mixed message or anything, but I don't feel that way about you."

"Audrey—"

"No. Evie, stop. I'm not looking for commitment."

"Because you're scared of it." The brunette's eyes darted around the room. Guilt weighed on her spine like a pile of self help books. Her protective instincts kicked in like usual. She refused to fall in love with someone again. After struggling with Jane and cutting it off before she could get hurt, Audrey had practically programmed herself to stop any relationships from emerging.

"You're scared of another Jane story," Evie continued in a soft voice. The voice her lover couldn't help but feel drawn to.

"You know about that?"

"People talk, Auds. Jane and I talk." The mistress felt trapped, caught. There wasn't much she could get past Evie these days. "And I know what it feels like to be afraid of commitment." She sighed, exhausted mentally and emotionally. "But in that moment today, that moment when you didn't hesitate to tell me how you felt. To stand up for how you felt, how you feel. That is the most important part of you. And you need to embrace it. Because that's the you that I love." She practically brought herself to tears by the end of her speech. "And I would hate to see your heart go to waste."