I don't hate you

she could spend hours among the trees

"Hey are you okay?"

"Can I get you something?"

"How you doin' sweetie?"

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"I know you two were very close."

"She's still with us."

"My heart is with you."

"I'm so sorry."

"Thank you," Evie responded to the dozens of comments during the hour and a half service. Only those with ears keen enough to pick up only the mildest of feedback could hear her speak that day. That dull, lifeless, never ending Wednesday afternoon filled with purple and black everything. Mal would've loved it, she knew.

Evie had been surprised to see him there. They didn't speak, knowing the tension of the situation. But she did lock eyes with the king who offered a reassuring head nod as condolences for her loss. It was his loss too, of course, but somehow, he seemed less effected.

The casket was mahogany. Evie knew her queen deserved nothing less after the life they lived together. All their plans got corrupted because of the accident. Plans to get married, own a house, have kids if Mal ever gave in to Evie's pleas. The whole event felt unreal and phony. Seeing the love of her life dressed in purple and laying in a box, Evie couldn't help but feel suffocated.

Empty tissue boxes covered the floor of her room for weeks after the ceremony. She couldn't remember what it felt like to see properly, always looking through a blurry lens. Her contract with Doug still stood. Less than a month was left for her to find a lifelong partner before their wedding would be arranged. There was no time for her to make a connection or settle. All that was left was him. An eternity with an alcoholic. Evie expected more for her twentieth birthday. More than a promise of misery and abuse.

"Are you taking visitors?" Carlos asked one day, standing in her doorway. A white polo shirt with black stripes decorated his chest. After the accident, he cut his hair short, so his deep brown roots sprouted from the top of his head.

"You live here," Evie almost chuckled, her legs crossed and hanging off the side of her bed.

"Not me." He stepped aside to reveal Audrey standing neatly with her hands cupped together. Evie gestured slightly with her head for Audrey to join her. The pink princess smiled at Carlos before he left the two of them behind closed doors.

"I wanted to say something to you at the service," Audrey started, placing her unnaturally smooth hand on Evie's arm. "But it didn't feel like the right time." Her eyes darted around the blue haired girl's face, as if she was nervous or intimidated by her presence.

"It was a hard day," Evie admitted, moving her field of vision to her lap.

"Mal would've hated the flowers," Audrey half joked with a small, curling smile. "But the rest of it was perfect."

"How's Jane?" Evie asked kind of suddenly. Though she enjoyed Audrey's impromptu company, Mal's funeral wasn't the most charming topic to her.

"I wouldn't know. We broke it off a few months ago." Her voice was eerily soothing, angelic Evie thought.

"Oh Audrey—"

"I broke it off a few months ago." She immediately righted her statement. "It just didn't feel real to me." She slowly brought her eyes to meet Evie's in a deep, intimate gaze. The slightly taller girl's heart pulsed for the first time since her girlfriend's death. She admired the oak brown tint of Audrey's eyes, drawing her in like an enticing forest waiting to be explored. A forest in which she would make happy memories to fill the void that lay agape in her heart. She knew she could spend hours among the trees, growing old and settling, nestling in their protection and comfort.

Sweat rose to the surface of Evie's palms in a thin layer of moisture. Audrey blinked out of her daze and took a deep breath.

"I think I should go," she whispered, swallowing nervously and standing from her spot on the bed with a start. Her feet moved rapidly over the carpeting, only stopping when Evie spoke up.

"Come by more often," the hostess invited. "It feels good to have you around."