Deadpool DxD {DxD Fanfic}

Fight!

(Y/N):"Cliffhanger!"

After saying that Koneko punched my face, successfully snapping my neck with her fucked up loli strength

Kiba:"Why did he just shout cliffhanger?"

Rias:"I have no idea."

Akeno:"Well, that was easy"

After she said that I hopped back up and I snapped my neck back into place

(Y/N):"You totally jinxed it"

Rias:"But your neck just snapped"

(Y/N):"So?"

Akeno:"What are you?"

(Y/N):"I'm afraid that's classified"

As soon as I finished my sentence Akeno tried to hit me with a lightning attack but I dodged

(Y/N):"Unfair! You started before I was ready"

Koneko then flew towards me and she punched me straight through my stomach. She looked at me shocked because she obviously didn't mean to add that much power

She retracted her arm and I fell to my knees and vomited blood

(Y/N):"Holy fuck. Even super villains have the decency to fight properly"

(Y/N):"Shit I am in so much pain"

Kiba:"How are you not dead yet? That's amazing"

(Y/N):"Sorry man I don't swing that way, ha gay jokes"

After yet another offensive joke I stood up and I put my arm through the big hole in my stomach

(Y/N):"This is so creepy"

I kept poking my insides but I think everyone in the room noticed that the hole was getting smaller

(Y/N):"You guys really ruined my suit, don't you know that's it's a pain in the ass to get cool suits like these?"

After that I ran straight to Koneko and I superman punched her but before she fell I grabbed her head and hit her hard with the blunt end of my gun to the extent where she was bleeding and due to my whole gun being holy it knocked her out

(Y/N):"That suprise attack worked surprisingly well."

Kiba (who had gotten healed) ran straight at me but I backflipped while taking out my holy gun and shooting his hand

He screamed in pain while dropping his sword and when I fell from the air I RKO'd him, knocking him out as well

But just as soon as I was done lightning engulfed me and when it stopped I saw Akeno with lust in her eyes

(Y/N):"Holy shit you are a sadist"

I got back up and Akeno and Rias were surprised to see me still standing

Rias:"I understand that you can heal but doesn't this hurt?"

(Y/N):"Like a bitch but I can handle it"

After that I threw my katana at Akeno but the blunt end of it but her head knocking her out as well

Rias:"Well Deadpool you have proven yourself so my peerage and I will take our leave."

(Y/N):"Ya you do that. Plus I wanna try out this baby hand" I said while showing Rias that the hand I ripped off had now grown into a baby hand

Rias:"What the hell?"

(Y/N):"Don't worry it'll grown back to its normal size in a few hours but there's an upside to this"

Rias:"What is the upside of losing you hand?"

(Y/N):"Well now since it's a baby hand I can jerk off and it will feel huge in my small hand, plus I can experience how a loli feels when they jerk off older men"

Rias:"Well that's an interesting way of looking at it" Rias said while blushing

She then dragged everyone in her peerage around her then a magic circle was forming but Hall got back up to try and attack the devil's again but Rias just shot a small power of destruction at him, knocking him onto one of the tables

Once Rias left all the guys started waking up

Buck:"What happened?"

Weasel:"You guys were beat up by a gay blonde kid

Everyone, except for Weasel and I, looked away in embarrassments

(Y/N):"Hey Weasel check on Hall"

Weasel then knelt down next to Hall with a mirror, and he put the mirror in front of halls nose

Everybody was silent until we saw Halls breath on the mirror

Weasel:"Sorry his still alive, nobody wins today."

Everyone growled and complained

Weasel:"Hey (Y/N) I forgot to ask but how did it go with that Francis guy?"

(Y/N):"The plan went to shit because someone interupted, but mark my words I will find him again and when I do nobody will stop me from getting my revenge"

Weasel:"Okay man I'll try to help anyway I can"

(Y/N):"Thanks Weasel"

(🎶Timeskip timeskip you gotta love timeskips🎶)

I was back at my crappy apartment after a night full of watching people get drunk since you know I can't do said action myself

You see my body gets rid of foreign substance, such as poison because that's part of my healing but since my body doesn't know jack shit it gets rid of alcohol in my system because it sees it as a foreign substance

I mean what the fuck!

I took off my suit and I was left in my boxers that I wore underneath, and I know what you're thinking you're probably like:"This guy is so weird so I'm surprised that he actually wears underwear"

(Y/N):"Well let me teach you a life hack, NEVER GO COMMANDO, it just makes your balls itchy and eventually you get a pretty bad rash, just save yourself time and money because you will be going to a lot of doctor's appointments and buying expensive creams" I said while looking at the screen

(Y/N):"I'm talking from experience here. Your welcome"

I then walked into my room and I jumped onto my bed

(Y/N):"I don't know why but I feel like tomorrow's gonna be pretty interesting"

(Y/N):"Timeskip!"

(Timeskip brought to you by-)

(Y/N):"Too late I already said it!"

(Fuck you)

Author and (Y/N):"Timeskip!"

I woke up after that interesting interaction but I found myself in a room that I've never been to in my life, I mean it looks clean and fancy which is the exact opposite of what I'm used to

(Y/N):"Where the fuck am I!?"

Michael:"Looks like you have awakened"

(Y/N):"Where am I?"

Michael:"You are in heaven (Y/N)"

(Y/N)*gaaasp*"Cliffhanger!"

...

Well that's done see you next time I guess