Hospital memories

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

It was normal day, I went to class, talked with Fishlegs... everything okay, until Astrid message me. She had never called me or message me since I gave her my number. It was the first time.

I was in English, the last lesson of the day when suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I was in the back of the class so carefully I looked at it, it was a message from Astrid.

Hey, is Sarah. She's not very bad... but she's not okay.

I looked at my watch, ten minutes before the class finished. Those minuted were awful, I couldn't text Astrid back because the teacher was looking at my direction most of the time. I started packing my things two minutes before the class ended so when the bell rang I stormed out of the classroom and out of the school in a record time. I started running, I wasn't very fast but instead of thirty minutes it only took me fifteen to arrived at the hospital. I stopped a little to catch my breath and entered.

Astrid was sitting on a chair, waiting for me, when she saw me a smirk appreared on her face.

"You're fast stalker." She said, I was going to answer but I didn't have enough air in my lungs yet, so I only nodded.

"Come on, I'm sure she wants to see you. She's not very bad as I told you... but I heard the doctors saying that she's getting worse." She said it with a worried face. We went to Sarah's room, in front of the door a doctor was talking in whispers with a nurse. I recognized the doctor as Sarah's.

"Can I see Sarah?" I asked the doctor, he smiled at me and nodded.

"Of course, she's in a delicated state so be careful, she might be asleep." The doctor said, after that he started walking with the nurse in the opposite direction we had came by. I was going to enter the room when I noted a hand on my shoulder, I turned.

"I'll wait here okay?" Astrid said

"Thanks, you don't have to wait Astrid." I said, I didn't want to make her wait for me.

"Don't feel so important, I don't have anything better to do." She said while smirking, I smiled at her and enter in Sarah's room. She wasn't asleep, she was just laying on her bed. Different machines were beside her bed, one of them was transfering her blood.

"Hey Sarah." She smiled lightly when she saw me, it was obvious that she didn't have strenght.

"Hic." She said in a whisper.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her, she nodded. I smiled, she always tried to be strong, saying she was okay when she was in pain... she had more courage than most of the people. And she was just a kid.

"Those machines are very cool Sarah, if you look at then for a while you'll see that they look like monsters. But good ones, they're helping you." Sarah tried to laugh but she end coughing. I gave her a glass of water and she drank it slowly. It was horrible to see her like that. I touched her face and kiss her forehead. She closes her eyes and I left, I didn't want to wake her up. Astrid was waiting for me, sitting in the corridor, she smiled.

"Is she okay?" She asked while stooding up.

"She's sleeping... she's... she's not okay." I said looking at the floor.

"Are you okay?" Astrid asked, her eyes full of concern. I shook my head. She took my hand and started walking, I followed her like a zombie. I didn't knew where we were going until we entered in a room, I realized it was her bedroom. She sat on her bed a motioned me to sat by her side. I sat and stare at the wall, we sat in silence.

"She'll be okay Hiccup." I knew she only said that to cheer me up.

"I barely know her, you're the one who's almost her brother... but I can see that she's strong." I took a deep breath, I knew Astrid was trying to comfort me, but hearing those things hurt me. I knew Sarah was strong, but she wasn't strong enough, and I wanted her to be strong enough.

"Astrid... I thought I could save her... I always believe that I could save her life. But I can't, she's dying, she has been dying for years and I can't do nothing... I feel so useless. I can't save no one. First I thought I could save my mother, later Sarah... and now you and... I can't do nothing, I can only write what people tell me. But everyday all this people is dying on the inside and what I can do? I can't do nothing. The thing that you told me the other day made me realized that. I thought that they were optimistic, but you said that they were not. Just on the outisde, on the inside they know they'll die. Everybody is going to die but they're going to die faster, and they're in pain... and I only write things becuse I want a little piece of them to be here when they left. But if they are not here anymore who would read about those stories? Their families will grave for them but they won't care about those st-." Astrid interruped me, I realized that while I was speaking she had take my hand. We were in front of each other.

"I'll read them. You're not useless Hiccup, you're very important to them. Knowing that someone cares about their past is very important to them. It make them feel loved. And that's everything they need. Most of their families don't vist them, and you who aren't even blood related to them... you go and talk with them. And that's amazing." She said, I looked at her ocean blue eyes and smile, a true smile.

"Thanks... Astrid why are you nice with me? No offense what but you normally act like a bitch." She chuckled.

" 'Cause I know you love Sarah, and you already lost another person you loved, and I think I can be nice just for a while, tomorrow I'll be a bith again if you want." She said.

"You're good at being nice... have you lost someone?" I asked.

"No... I'm afraid of losing people. That's why I'm a bitch, I only have my family." I took her hand in mine.

"Well, I consider you a friend. And you're not going to lose me." I said that to comfort her but she put an angry face.

"You say that because I'm in a hospital? Because you're the one that's going to lose me?" She shouted, I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I didn't meant to say that, I was saying that... argg, look Astrid, I only want to help you, I only want you to know that you can count on me okay? I know that you're on a hospital, but that doesn't mean that you're going to die before I die, you could be here for a dozen of different reasons!" I said, trying to control myself.

"You think I'm anorexic, don't you?" That question caught me by surprise.

"No... I mean yes- I mean... the first time I saw you I thought it but later- I don't know Astrid. And I want to know what's your problem but everytime I asked you change the subjet or-." I said, Astrid was now looking at the wall.

"I'm not anorexic, I'm skinny because I'm depressed and... for other things." I was surprised, I thought that she was going to punch me and make me leave the room. I felt curious and stubborn so I kept asking.

"So... why are you here?" I asked slowly. Astrid was still looking at the wall, her hands in fists and she was bitting her lip, I was almost sure that she was bleeding. She took a deep breath and say three words that changed everything, those three fucking words.

"It is cancer."