𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄(gxg)

Chapter 18

EMILY'S perspective

"Ugh Grey what am I doing?"

He wiped the crumbs from his mouth,"'Bout what? Your obvious crush on your assistant or your company moving to New York."

I sighed. He was no help. I had been ranting to him for hours, blabbering on and on about a mixture of my emotions for Rose and stressful job.

All he did was eat my half of the food and nod his head as if he cared. In reality this conversation could be compared to talking to a brick wall.

"Both...ish...but I'm over Rose."

He grabbed his stomach and pushed out an exaggerated laugh,"Oh my god! Have you been listening to yourself? You definitely wanna fuck this chick."

I paused and grew silent. I watched as his eyes grew big, "You didn't!"

I nodded my head, ashamed and humiliated. "You already went down on her? Geez, that has to be some kind of record."

I punched him in his shoulder, none of this was amusing and I didn't appreciate him making light of such a shitty situation.

I didn't need anyone to tell me that what I did to and with Rose was screwed up. I already threw myself a pity party and stressed myself out about how terrible of a person I am.

"Please stop laughing." I whined, sinking further into the couch as he tried to stifle his noises. "What do I do now? I have so much on my plate."

He leaned forward to grab another beer, cracking open the top and taking a quick swig. "Em, are you serious? Rose is taking care of her brother and this is the first stable jobs she's had in months. She just found out you're her boss and clearly developed some feelings for you along the way. If anything she's the one with a full plate."

"Are you calling me selfish?"

His mouth fell open. "Did I say that? No. So stop being so dramatic. But it doesn't seem like you've paid much attention to her feelings. She's the other part of this equation..."

I knew deep down he was right. I was aware that I hurt Rose but I didn't once think about how she was actually feeling.

I mean, she did move on, so she couldn't be that hurt. But she did also break down into tears when I ran into her at the restaurant and when I told her us sleeping together was a mistake.

"Well what should I do?"

He lifted the can to his lips, "Don't tell me you don't have an answer. For once does little miss perfect need some help?"He cooed, his voice becoming similar to the voice you use when talking to a baby.

"Oh fuck off."

He erupted into another pit of laughter, enjoying that he got me so annoyed that I was no longer wanting to talk to him.

"Grey I'm serious. I don't know what to do." I breathed.

"Talk to her."

I rolled my eyes, if only it were that easy. "I already tried. She doesn't want to hear anything I have to say."

"Can you blame her? You go off to work acting like the big bad wolf and end up hurting people that actually care about you." He shrugged.

Rose couldn't possibly care about me. Not after all I've put her through. I mean, if the roles were switched I wouldn't care about me either. "She's doing her job, as my assistant she's supposed to show an interest in my life and career."

Right?

"Keep telling yourself that. In the end you know your feelings for her are stronger than you'd like them to be, but because you never let anyone care for you the way you need to be cared for, you push them away. It's a miracle you let me into your life."

I played with the end of my sweater, Grey was right. I had this thing for pushing people away who just wanted to help. It's an unhealthy habit I've had for what seems like forever.

Growing up in foster care will do that to you.

That's where I met Grey. I had to be at least six and he was eight. We met on the playground, I was the new kid and he had been there about two years. I was scared, alone, and confused. He offered as much help as he could give, but I insisted that I could do everything on my own. I never needed or wanted the help of anyone. I guess that's why I turned to drugs.

That way I wouldn't have to depend on someone else to make me happy. I could do it with one quick sniff and a rub at the nose to go as far away as I needed.

_

I approached the glass door with a soft knock. My palms were sweaty and I was beginning to overthink everything Grey and I had talked about last night.

Was this a mistake? I hoped I was doing the right thing instead of digging my grave further into the ground.

She looked up, a curl flopping in front of her face that was lightened by the sun. Her soft caramel skin and big brown eyes reflecting off the light from the large window.

"Can I help you?" She sassed, her voice quiet and monotone.

I cleared my throat, "C-can we talk?"

She pushed aside her work and folded her arms. "There's nothing to talk about."

I walked towards her desk, shaking slightly, but masking it with a somewhat friendly smile. Even if she didn't forgive me I needed our relationship to become less tense at the end of this conversation.

"I came to say I'm sor—"

"I don't want your apology Emelia."

"Can I finish?" I interjected. "I know this is hard to believe but I am sorry. I never meant to lead you on or take advantage of you. I was being selfish." My eyes never lost contact with hers.

There was a long pause.

"Thank you. But what's done is done. I've moved on and you should too. Let's just forget it ever happened." She cracked a smile, one that was obviously fake.

"Rose it's not that easy..." I pleaded, I did wanted us to move on, but not like this.

"It is Emelia!" She yelled, lowering her voice when she realized how much power her tone held. So much emotion spilled out of such a small body, it seemed to have scared the both of us.

"It's always been easy. It's been easy for you to boss me around, take advantage of me. Seduce me. Then drop me off like a piece of shit. It's always been easy for you to forget that I'm a person who has feelings!"

There was no way around that. It was all true.

I played her, whether my actions were intentional or not, she, and everybody who knew our fucked up situation, could see that.

But Grey is right. It takes two and she played apart in this relationship just as much as I did. "Are you kidding me right now?! You literally blackmailed me into keeping your job!"

She stood up from her chair, hands planted firmly on her desk as she look at me with furious eyes. "Because I need this! Before I had this job I was broke. This was my last opportunity to get my life together before I would become homeless. This is all that I have!" She growled, her tears, something I've come all to familiar with, sat on the line of her eyes, ready to spill.

Now nothing mattered. Before me was a broken girl who needed help. Though I doubt I was any, I walked around the desk and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. Holding her for as long as she'd let me.