• SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY • (Jared x Reader)

[12]

WORD COUNT: 580 WORDS

Your POV

I wake up to hear Jared's phone beeping and I carefully get off him and sit up. He doesn't wake up so... maybe I can check what the notification was about? Eh I hope he won't get mad.

I grab his phone from the nightstand and first I check the time, 4:16 AM.

huh? Who could be messaging him this early? I unlock it and opened the messages application

BookNerd: hey Jared, I know it's really early but do you mind if I ride with you to school later? It's okay if you say no, anyways thanks.

I put his phone back where it was and got up, a sudden wave of pain flashed in me, oh come on I can't be jealous. I literally just realized I like him. I got up and walked to the bathroom, my wrist was aching. I look at the mirror and pulled my sleeve up, my cuts were red and some were opening.

I didn't care, I grabbed a cutter out of my pocket and added to the collection. I let the blood drip down onto the sink and cleaned it up shortly after.

I felt ashamed cutting myself in Jared's house but it felt like the rightful consequence for getting jealous. I can't be possessive of him when we're not even together, I'll just come out as the bad guy.

After cleaning myself up, I take a shower and rewore my jeans. I stole one of Jared's sweaters which was big and fluffy and headed down stairs. I waited for time to pass by a bit before making us breakfast.

5:48 AM

Breakfast's finished making, time to wait for him to wake up. I sit on the couch and just stare blankly, getting lost in my thoughts. he'll never like me back. I keep telling myself

God how far deep am I? a day into sorting out my feelings and I'm already pining... sigh. To be honest, realizing I like Jared makes me think of all the positive things about him more than the negative. The way his eyes sparkle when he's excited about something, how beautiful his heterochromia is, how comfortable he is. Everything about him, I'm slowly starting to notice.

was this good?

I ask, expecting an answer, but where will I find the answer? sigh. His laugh is adorable, everything about him is cute. I will never ever admit how I think his sarcasm is cool, no no no. Back to the feelings... He said he liked someone in his club? who could that be? I'm not in any club as him... except for one but I've completely abandoned that club for a year now, so it's impossibly that. Alana's in most of his clubs... oh wait, Alana's in most of the school's clubs. I wonder, does he often give Alana a ride? Do they go to school together often? like if Evan and I aren't around?

But honestly, Alana would be a better choice. I mean, who am I to him? I see him as my best friend and I don't even know what he sees me as. How could someone like him even like me though? under these long sleeves lie ugly scars, under this smile lies a never ending frown and under this "heart of gold" lies ashes of what used to be my heart. So someone tell me, how could he even like someone like me?

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YEET, jealous + pining! reader
:3

~Lai💋