I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone

I'm Not A Perfect Person

C-POV

I had to go. Run, even. I had no idea how long I was running away from the house before I collapsed against a tree, my chest pounding and my lungs screaming for air. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket but ignored it in favour of catching my breath and finding a bench. 

After about half an hour, I'd caught my breath and regained the sensation in my lower legs. I felt my phone buzzing again for the twentieth time. I huffed, loudly, and pulled it out my pocket, frowning when I saw it was Lucifer.

"Hello?" I said, confused.

Cas, thank god, finally. It's Michael.

"Okay, calm down, what's up?"

Michael tried to kill himself, he lost a whole lotta blood. He's alright though. In surgery for some reason.

"He, what?!"

Calm down, he's fine. He ain't dead. Look, I gotta go, I'll call you if there's any news.

Then he hung up.

What have I done?!
Mike tried to kill himself... Again!

This was all my fault.

I'd decided that I couldn't see Michael anymore. I was a danger to his life. I had to leave.

I sent a text to Michael apologising about everything and then broke my phone, leaving it in a bin by the park so that he couldn't track me.

I'm sorry, Michael. This is all my fault. I'm sorry I can't come and see you in hospital to see how you are. If I hadn't have kissed you again, Dean wouldn't have hit you and you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself for everything he said. I have to leave, I should never have came here. I should never have told you that I loved you. I should never have broke you out of Roosevelt. But I don't regret any of it. I shouldn't have done it, but I don't regret it. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Despite that, you deserve a much better life than you have, especially with me in it. You don't deserve such a burden like me. I have leave. I'm certainly going to miss you. But I have to do this. Goodbye, Michael.

I started to walk down the road, pulling my jacket closer to my body as a harsh breeze whipped past me and rain started to fall from the sky.

I'm not a perfect person

I felt bad for what I did to Michael. This was all my fault.

There's many thing I wish I didn't do.

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

Michael had Lucifer and Dean had Lisa. Nobody needed me any more. I would move out of town, the country even. Perhaps move back in with my parents in London. I'd start fresh.

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I started to remember the first time I had met Michael. It had been at least 12 years ago. I hadn't met Dean yet and I was walking through the streets of New York back home from school. I was only 14 at the time but I remember stalking around the corner by a small coffee shop when the door flung open and hit me right in the face, knocking me off my feet.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

I was ready to glare at the person who did it but when I looked up, I saw a short, dark haired boy. He musn't have been more than 7 years old. He green eyes looked wide with fear and he seemed like he was going to cry, clutching his teddy bear closer to his chest, burying his nose into its head. I smiled at this gesture and that is when he walks out.