I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone

Without You Is How I Disappear

L-POV

I'd been sat in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity before a short nurse in a super cliche white nurse dress walks over to me with a clipboard.

"Mr Beretta?" she said in a quiet and sickly sweet voice, "I have some good news and some bad news." She stopped like she wanted a response. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes?" I snapped, getting impatient.

"Well, the good news is, Michael is awake. The bad news is that he lost a whole lotta blood so we need to keep him here for a couple of days."

"Can I see him?" I asked, quietly. The nurse nodded and led me to Michael's room.

"Micha?" I whispered, stepping into the room, closing the door as quietly as I could. I saw Michael's head snapped towards me before he smiled. His smile!

"Hey!" He said, in a croaky voice. I passed him the cup of water that was left on the bedside table and carefully sat down on the chair, lacing my fingers together and burying them in my lap.

An awkward silence filled the room, I glared at nothing and Michael occasionally sniffed his nose. I got annoyed at his seemingly endless sniffing, so I grabbed the tissue box and tossed it into his lap.

"Luci?" He croaked, "Luci, are you okay?" I glared at him before standing up and sending the chair flying before walking over to the other side of the room.

"Am I okay?!" I said, turning around to face Michael, who looked terrified.

"Y-yes, th-that-that's what I s-s-said?" He said, his voice catching in his throat like he was holding back a sob.

"You tell me!" I hissed, Michael looked at me in confusion as he seemed to cower into the hospital bed. "You tried to kill yourself, Michael!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Michael shouted, the tears he tried to hold back so hard now spilling down his red cheeks, "Notice the keyword, TRIED. I should have succeeded but you're too selfish to let me die!"

"I'm too selfish for saving your life?!" I half laughed half shouted.

"Yes, Lucifer!" Michael sobbed, "Everything Dean said about me was right! I'm stupid, I'm weak, I'm jealous."

"Mike-" I said, quietly before Michael carried on.

"I don't deserve anyone. The world would be better without me in it," Michael said quietly before turning away from me and curling up under the covers.

"Micha, that's not true," I responded, quietly, tears streaming down my face as I walked towards the chair I was previously sitting in, "None of that is true. Dean is a liar, he's just upset about his unhappy marriage with Cas."

Michael sniffed.

"Micha," I said, standing the chair back up and sitting in it, leaning forward and looking deep into his bright green eyes, "I'm sorry. I love you, Michael."

"I know," Michael croaked, his eyes glistening once again, "But I don't believe you," I frowned, "What Dean said is true. I should've been the one who died in the war, not my Dad." I looked at the raven-haired boy in disbelief. His words were so painful to hear coming out of his mouth. If I had heard Dean saying it, I wouldn't mind as much. Yes, obviously I'd be upset and angry but hearing Michael saying it was a hundred times worse.

"To un-explain the unforgivable," I sang, taking Michael's hand in mine and tracing my finger along the scars on his arms and around the bandage covering his wrists, "Drain all the blood and give the kids a show."

"Luci-"

"By streetlight this dark night a séance down below," I continued, interrupting whatever Michael was going to say, "There's things that I have done, you never- should ever know," Michael frowned.

"And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone forever now," I sang, smiling at Michael who's eyes had now filled with tears, "And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone forever now. Who walks among the famous living dead," I stood up and Michael pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed," I walked towards the window and pushed the curtains open, letting the bright sunshine pour into the white hospital room like orange juice into a glass, "And if you could talk to me, tell me if its so, that all the good girls go to heaven. Well heaven knows."

"That without you is how I disappear," I pulled the curtains shut with unnecessary force, the room almost instantly darkening once again, "And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone forever now."

"Luci?" Michael said, quietly. I silenced him by placing my finger on his lips.

"Can you hear me cry out to you?" I sang, running my thumb across Michael's bottom lip, "Words I thought I'd choke on figure out, I'm really not so with you anymore." The raven-haired boy smirked slightly and the glisten in his eyes, in which I hadn't seen in weeks, came back as his face lit up.

"I'm just a ghost, so I can't hurt you anymore," I sang, my eyes watering as Michael continued to smile, the glisten in his eyes still there, "I can't hurt you anymore,"

"No matter what you do, Luci," Michael said, softly, "You could never hurt me and you never have. I'm sorry for hurting you though."

"Don't worry about it," I said, gently pulling Michael's face towards me and connecting our lips. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me towards him further. I laughed and placed my hands on his hips, our lips still connected. I smiled for the first time in days, I'd never been happier.

941 words. I am SO sorry it took so long. I've finally started my A-Levels and honestly haven't had time to balance homework, sleep and writing. Next chapter will be up soon... hopefully. Haven't started it yet but I know what I wanna write in it for once.

Live long and prosper, bitchezzz

I promise you all an unlimited supply of scones and tea :)