Bliss | Sarah Paulson

Lana Winters

"Okay, today is the day" I whispered to myself in front of the mirror and took a deep breath. I checked my appearance one last time and then grabbed my purse. My apartment door closed behind me and I walked to my car. Lana Winters would be in my favorite bookstore in a few minutes and she will read a few chapters of her new book for some fans. And I was a huge fan of her books and her in general. 

I was mesmerized by Lana and I really wanted to know how she is after this trauma she went through. My mother told me about Lana and after that I read everything about her and her story. Since then, I wanted to get to know her. I'm honest, I have a little crush on her. Okay maybe a huge one and maybe I get the opportunity to talk to her a little bit today. 

I made it a few minutes later to the bookstore and Lana had already begun to read. The door closed loudly behind me and everyone turned around. I looked apologetically at everyone and then looked at Lana. She was looking at me and my cheeks turned a deep shade of red. "I'm so sorry" I whispered and sat down on a seat in the last row. 

I stared at Lana the whole time and studied her, but something about her seemed off. Sometimes her voice trembled and she took deep breaths and I got worried. After two hours she closed her book and said "Okay everyone, I thinks that's enough. If you want to know how it goes on, you have to buy the book." The little audience laughed, but not me. A million thoughts were running through my mind and I didn't noticed that they all got in line for an autograph. 

I lingered in the back, because I wanted to be the last one. I don't know how long I waited for my turn, but when it came I was really nervous. Lana looked at me and smiled. "You're the one who came late." My cheeks turned red and I said "Yes, I'm still really sorry about that. Traffic was so horrible." I scratched my neck and handed Lana my book. "What's your name?" Lana asked me. "(Y/N)" I smiled and waited for her to sign my book. 

She closed it and handed it back to me. Our hands brushed and I heard myself say "Do want to drink something with me?" Lana looked at me and I saw the struggle in her eyes. "You don't have to, of course Ms. Winters" I said and smiled sadly. I turned around and said "I hope I can see you again somewhere." At the door Lana said "Wait!" and I turned around. I lifted one eyebrow and she walked towards me. "I would like to drink something with you." She bit her lip and I looked at it. 

"Okay, when is it okay for you?" I asked and looked into her eyes again. "Now" she smiled. I nodded happily and walked out of the bookstore towards my car. "Let's go then. I know the perfect place" I said loudly to her and she came to me. Lana sat down in my car and I drove off. "You know, I saw that you stared at me the whole time" Lana said after a few minutes and I sighed. "Yeah I studied you, because I thought something was off with you." 

She turned towards me and narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?" We stopped at a red light and I looked at her. "I'll tell you at the Café okay?" Lana nodded and looked out of the window.

We arrived ten minutes later and I opened the car door for Lana. I held my hand out for her and said "Let's go inside Ms. Winters." She took my hand and said smiling "You know, you can call me Lana." "Thanks." We walked into the Café, still holding hands and sat down in a corner. 

"Can you tell me know, why you studied me?" I nodded and started talking. "You seemed stressed and depressed. Your voice trembled sometimes and you took deep breaths a lot, like it was hard for you to remember all the things that happened to you." I looked up and saw the tears in Lana's eyes and grabbed her hand quickly. "Did I said something wrong?" She shook her head and squeezed my hand. "No. You read me really well. It's true, it was extremely hard for me to read all of this and remember what happened."

"I'm so sorry Lana, I wish I knew you longer and could have helped you. I can't believe Wendy did this to you. If it were me, I would have chosen you above my life." "That's so sweet (Y/N)." Her thumb stroked over my hand and and she smiled. "I mean it Lana. If I could, I would change the world for you and I really like you. If you let me, I would love to be at your side when you're having trouble with your memories or in general." 

Lana looked intensely at me and stood up. For a second I thought she would leave, but she pushed her chair next to mine and looked deeply in my eyes. "Darling, I feel flattered, but are you sure you want to go through all of this?" I nodded and took both of her hands in mine. "Yes, please Lana. I know you don't know me, but please let me be there for you." 

She smiled and leaned forward. Lana kissed my cheek and whispered "Okay. I think it's a good idea and I already like you. You're really sweet." 

One of my hands caressed her cheek and I whispered "I want to take the pain from your heart."