Let Me Down Slowly (Kamado Tanjirou x Agatsuma Zenitsu from Demon Slayer)

Part 11!!: I Don't Like What's Going On

"Tanjirou?" A whisper echoed in Tanjirou's ears. He awoke to the sight of a blonde boy laying in front of him, his body tickled by the strands of grass. The air was moist but cold at the same time, and above them was the moon shining brilliantly. Beyond Zenitsu was a sea of stars, twinkling brightly in the night.

"Zenitsu?" Tanjirou muttered, the blonde boy frowned in response.

"Your clothes are ripped..." Zenitsu spoke. Tanjirou wanted to stand up, but Zenitsu pushed him back down. "It's... because of me, isn't it?" He asked guiltily.

Tanjirou opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He nodded silently. "But it wasn't your fault, you-"

"There are no excuses," Zenitsu interrupted him. He leaned forward and buried his face to Tanjirou's chest. His eyes peering over the open wounds and scratches on Tanjirou's person. "I... did that..."

"I... I'm fine, Zenitsu." Tanjirou tried to reassure him, running his fingers through the yellow hair and held Zenitsu closer. "And... Nezuko is...?"

"She's in the building."

"Building?"

"We took shelter in one of the helper's houses. The one with the wisteria emblems," Zenitsu explained, his voice muffled. "They were... hesitant to take care of demons but once they saw you in that state, they took us in immediately."

"Oh," Tanjirou mumbled under his breath.

Zenitsu looked up. "Yeah."

"Zenitsu?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about the... biting thing." Tanjirou shot him a smile. "It's no big deal."

"Huh?" Zenitsu's eyes widened.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"No... it's not!" Tanjirou was taken aback by the sudden shout of the boy in his embrace. "It's all... because of me...!" He tore his face away from Tanjirou.

"It's okay, really! I forgive you."

"I... I don't want you to forgive me." The two turned over on the grass, Zenitsu now on top of Tanjirou. "Please, don't ever forgive me..."

"I don't-"

"I'm a terrible person, and I... I feel like..."

Tanjirou shushed him, the blonde's whimper getting increasingly softer. "...You feel like?"

"I... don't know." Zenitsu voice was small. He shifted his head. His eyes were right in front of the grass strands, threatening to pierce through his eyelids. "I... I don't..."

"Zenitsu. Just talk to me."

"I... When I look at the mirror... I can't see... my reflection anymore." Zenitsu paused. "I always think to myself... Why did I go change into someone like this? Into someone... I don't recognize..."

"... The voices in my head start... to scare me... Telling me things I... I don't understand... And I don't think I want to know what they're implying." Tanjirou didn't know what to say. It confused him. These elaborate feelings Zenitsu felt.

"I... used to think being immortal was great. But now, I... I'm going to live an eternity... without you." Zenitsu pulled his head away from the ground.

Tanjirou could see it. The way his eyes were tender but distant at the same time. Tanjirou couldn't mutter a word but he listened. That was the only thing he could do.

Zenitsu blinked, his hair dropped to Tanjirou's cheeks, tickling the raven-haired boy. Zenitsu's lips curled into a dejected grin, but his smile was overwhelmed by the tears falling down his face. "When I'm with you, I feel... a fake... sense of security." Zenitsu's hair blew in the wind, obscuring his face. "I want to stop lying to myself. To stop saying that... That you're... close."

Tanjirou flashed a smile, trying to make light of it. But it was a lie, after all. "Why would you think I'm not close?" He asked a useless question.

"Because you're far from where I can reach you."

Zenitsu went silent. Tanjirou ran a hand through Zenitsu's hair. He wiped away Zenitsu's tears with his thumb. For a moment, it felt like the world was unfurling right in front of him.

"I'm scared. Of everything. I'm not going to do anything... but hurt you. And that...That's not..." Zenitsu sobbed. He tried halting his tears, rubbing his eyes to stop it from flowing. But it wouldn't stop. "I... don't like scaring myself..."

Tanjirou didn't know. Was it the way Zenitsu was looking at him with those apologetic eyes? Or was it the way he was so close to Tanjirou? It wasn't rare for Zenitsu to cry and he didn't make his feelings private, either. But maybe it was the way Zenitsu carried himself, the way he didn't tremble, the way he didn't weep loudly, the way his voice sounded so soft and full of pain.

Tanjirou couldn't push those thoughts away. The thought of freeing this boy of grief once and for all. He clutched Zenitsu's left palm, the sharp nails digging through the gaps of his fingers.

Maybe it was the unease in the air. He talked about his problems so personally, it felt like Zenitsu was talking to himself. The ambiance was bleak, the only sounds that rung around the field were Zenitsu's sobs.

'What the fuck is that guy to you?'
Genya's words resounded in Tanjirou's head. What was Zenitsu to him? Why did Tanjirou felt like he needed to protect this person, someone who had been hurting him over and over again? Tanjirou didn't know. He didn't know a lot of things.

"The world... isn't always a good place," Tanjirou blurted. He pushed Zenitsu closer to him, Zenitsu's hair brushing against his chin. He was no longer grasping Zenitsu's hand, just slightly touching. "But no matter what... I'm going to make sure you feel safe."

"How?"

"I'll stand right next to you until the day I disappear from this world." Tanjirou pushed back Zenitsu's hair. "I promise."

Zenitsu sniffled, holding back his weeps. He crawled up, his face and Tanjirou's only inches apart. Maybe less.

He gave Tanjirou a strained smile, thanking him for his company. Tanjirou pulled Zenitsu's face closer, their lips almost meeting. And the tears that once soaked Zenitsu's face trailed down to Tanjirou's. Zenitsu rested his cheeks on Tanjirou's shoulders and the two stopped.

Tanjirou felt like the world would never rotate the same way again.

_______________________________
author's note :
sad yeehaw 😔

also, i FINALLY have the time to draw something for this fic wooo!!!!! its p bad bc i drew it in like 30 minutes 😢✋
AND 2 updates at the same time yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaw 🤠🤠🤠🤠

edit: so my phone had a stroke and uploaded 3 pics of my art LAHDKAHSKAIHDKAH so yea if any yall can see it pls ignore the other 2