Fame Comes With A Price (In Editing Process)

Outlines

* Meanwhile in Amsterdam, Netherlands* 

Jenna felt her eyes fill with tears as she felt a white hot surge of pain spread across her back, down her legs and along her arms. Every single movement she made felt as if her skin was being peeled with knives.But she couldn't stand still. They were paid to perform and perform she will. As Jenna bounced and skipped and twirled around the stage, tears were steadily beginning to overflow her eyes, impairing her vision. Luckily the shitty stage lights shining down on the stage cast wierd shadows all over the place, including Jenna's face so the crowd could only see the faint outline of her nose, eyes and lips. 

This was good, Jenna supposed, because she didn't want anybody seeing tearful wreck that she was. Tonight Alive's fan base was still pretty small in the Netherlands and Jenna didn't want the Dutch to percieve her or the band as weaklings. 

As ' Breaking and Entering' came to an end, Jenna felt relief. She only had to battle through four more songs then she could retreat back to their tour bus, remove her painfully tight clothes, and dronw herself in Aloa Vera and baby powder.

Right from a very young age, Jenna suffered from a very severe case of eczema which is a skin condition which leads to violent itching, extreme dryness, blistering, cracking, weeping and bleeding of the skin. Most of the time, Jenna could control her eczema but it really was unpredictable and would pop up unexpectedly.

Just as Tonight Alive were due to start their six week long European tour, Jenna's eczema cought up with her and came in such a voilent and powerful wave that she couldn't even bend down to tye her shoelaces anymore. The guys were extremely worried for Jenna and the suggestion of cancelling the tour was brought up but Jenna refused; ' It comes and goes all the time guys, I've toured with it before. It will probably clearup in a few days.'

It was their second week of tour now. 

Jenna felt slightly sick as she sang into the microphone. She was finally onto the last song of their selist, ' Loneley Girl' and despite the pain she was in, Jenna felt a small rush of adrenaline as the small club started jumping up and down to the rhythim. Jenna, along with the boys, loved playing live shows. The look of excitement and exhilaration on people's faces, the way the crowd connected so easily to their songs and lyrics, always reminded Tonight Alive of why they were here in the first place.

As the song ( finally!) ended, Jenna took a huge bow, which she instantly regretted, then smiled at the small crowded club, who were roaring in excitement.

' Amstedam, you were fucking awesome! We have to do it again some time! Drive safe, have a loveley night and we will see you again real soon!' 

As soon as Jenna exited the stage, she sprinted out to their tour bus parked outside before any fans could get out of the club and barrelled into the bathroom, one of the only places she could get peace and quiet. 

As soon as Jenna locked the door she let out a sob. Why did it have to hurt so bad? She tenderly began pulling off her Fall Out Boy t shirt, careful not to pull her arms up to fast or else she would feel the hundreds of tiny little daggers cutting into her skin. When she was in just her bra, she opened up the small cupboard above the toilet and took out a tub of cream. Dipping two of her fingers into the cream, she then tenderly began rubbing the cream all over her back, chest and stomach, flinching anytime her fingers brushed her skin. 

After she was done, Jenna let out a sigh of relief. The cream cooled her boiling hot skin and managed to take some of the stinging, but it was only a temporary relief and after about half an hour, the pain killers in it would ware away. 

Jenna looked at herself in the mirror, her face still dripping with sweat, eyes red from tears, white cream covering her stomach up to her neck. I look pathetic, she thought to herself, If only my fans could see me now. 

* For anybody that is wondering, Jenna actually does have eczema and she wrote a blog about it explaining how difficult it was for her to perform, alot of her songs are influenced by her personal health struggles, like The Ocean and Bathwater for example and a couple others but i don't remember them

sorry for making this chapter so sad :'( I promise further along i will make Jenna all smiley and happy again... OK? OK *