Losing you

HIM

"Hello."
I wanted to get closer to you, only to keep my promise I made. But I didn't know if saying hello was the right thing to do. Should I have introduced myself first? But then again you already know me. But you didn't know that I knew about you. And you didn't know about me and Yeji either.
Judging by your reaction you weren't expecting me to talk to you all of a sudden. Your cheeks turned light pink, to almost red. So you really were in love with me.
I smiled in an attempt to be more friendly.
"H-h-hello"
The way you stuttered made me laugh unconsciously. I wasn't meant to but it just came out. At first I thought I did something wrong, but the faint smile I received was worth it. I did think you were cute then. The way you smiled. The way you stumbled over your words when you tried to talk to me. It never happened to me though.
Is that because I didn't love you then?
Do we only stutter when talking to the one we love?
Up close you looked even smaller, now that I focused on you. Even your features were small. It sort of reminded me of Yeji. A gradual wave of sadness. That's what I felt.
It wasn't that bad.
It only made me miss Yeji.
I started getting closer to you. You still blushed when I spoke, even when we became good friends. That's when I held your hand for the first time. That's when I gazed into your eyes for the first time. For a moment I felt as if I was falling. I suppose this is the point when I didn't have to fake my feelings for you anymore. If the next thing I said was I love you, it would have been completely genuine. But if you are looking back at this moment right now, you probably think I did it to make Yeji happy.
After a few months she got a boyfriend. She had moved in from me and seemed happy again. Although, her lying and telling everyone that he was her first boyfriend kind of hurt me. But our relationship was never made public. So it would have been an even bigger surprise to say that he was her second boyfriend. Right?
I remember walking you home everyday. It was the best part of my day. Just the two of us walking and talking about life. I enjoyed it, so when you told me to stop, I wondered if it was out of guilt or if you had fallen out of love.
"It's fine anything for you."
I wanted to continue to walk with you. I loved you so much, so I didn't care about what time I got home.
You probably think I did it for Yeji.

But I was over her.

And my promise now meant nothing.

What about you?

Did you still love me then?