Losing you

HIM

3 years ago. I think it has been 3 years since the day I first kissed you. I was really nervous and my heart was killing me. But I loved it. Feeling your soft lips against mine. Your cheek as it rested in my hand. I loved it.
"I love you."
I whispered into your ear, gently, softly. I could tell you felt the same way. You spaced a kiss onto my cheek. I'm sorry I turned away. I guess that I was embarrassed. But you made me feel different.
"You look cute when you smile."
Burying your face into my chest, and moving your hands around my waist. I'll never forget that. You felt small, fragile. It made me feel as if I should protect you. Every moment I spent with you made me feel better and happier every day. I remember the light sent of your perfume as you got close to me.
Is that a sent that I'll ever forget?
Do you remember? Do you remember the day, about three years ago?
Of course you remember.
It was 3 years and a few months ago, you came to me crying your eyes out. All I could do was hold you and tell you I loved you.
If I would have known back then, that it was that day.
If I would have known, would I have said something different?
"I'm sorry I never told you."
"I'm sorry that I moved onto you for Yeji's sake."
"I'm sorry but I love you."
But I couldn't. I couldn't tell you.
If I did would you have believed me? I guess it was too late.
Yeji came to me soon after.
"I'm sorry. I had to tell her."
It wasn't anger, it was out of sadness that I left her. My first love and I left her. It felt as if Yeji now meant nothing to me. I only cared about you. If only you would have believed me.

It was the first time I had felt that sad. I didn't go to school the next day. Did you realise? Thinking about it now you probably didn't care, since you were falling out of love.

But I still hoped you cared.

I still hoped that you loved me.

Just like how I loved you.