Mistake

Confusion

I watched the man sleeping beside me with his head on my hand. He looked uncomfortable sleeping on the chair.

I sighed as I closed my eyes, remembering how much I had made him worry.

I opened my eyes, again staring at the sleeping face of the man who I once called my lover and I don't know whether I can call him mine now, even though he had told me everything that happened in the past was an act.

I don't know yet what is our status. And I don't have the guts to ask him too.

In sleep he was angelic, his face as fresh as a dewdrop, making gentle snuffling noises as he breathed. He looked much relaxed, yet I could see some concern in his face. I know I made him sad and depressed with my actions and behavior towards him. But, he should remember that I had suffered more than him.

At least for once, I felt like acting selfishly.

I looked around at the room we are in. It was a small room, with all my medical accessories, boxes of plasters and bandage rolls.

It was just yesterday we moved into here.

Looking at Krist who was sleeping made my heart raise again. I still don't understand what is happening here. Everything doesn't make any sense.

New, Jane and Krist, nothing makes sense to me.

I still remembered how yesterday I tried to convince Krist to say the truth but he refused to because he thought I couldn't handle things in my present condition.

Flashback...

"Singto, I want to talk to you..."

Seeing Krist infront of me, with his concern filled eyes roaming around the room. His lips quivering in what I might think was fear for the unknown.

I really missed Krist, but I didn't dare to show that though my lips had betrayed me at one stage but I soon tried to compose it.

I didn't want to be hurt more.

Seeing Krist being beside me for during these days, even at the time I was unconscious, I could hear what all Krist would tell to me and knowing he was beside me was the only reason I was alive. Or else I would have let myself go away from this world.

"What is it, Krist?" I asked coldly, trying to keep my emotions in control.

His black eyes looked straight into mine with love and protectiveness as he walked towards me and sat down, taking my hands in his.

I didn't bulge. I loved his touch.

"Singto, we have to go away from here." His soft, melodious voice filled my ears.

"What are you talking about? Go away? Where?"

Krist hesitated for a minute, debating within himself about whether he should tell me or not.

"I can't tell you everything, Sing. But know that you are in danger and we want you safe. And this hospital is not a safe place now."

His words didn't make sense to me at all.

What is he trying to hide form me?

Can't he just fucking tell what is going on?

"Krist, can you tell me what's going on? I can't understand anything. One moment you are saying the marriage between you and Jane was just an act and now you are telling me that I should go away from this hospital, both because of  an unknown reason?" I blurted out.