"my biggest fear is that eventually you will see me the way i see myself."
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"bitch!" i yelled
"it's none of your fucking business!"
"yes it is brandon!"
"i told you, it's just some friends coming to a party with me" he shrugged
"oh so your fucking ex girlfriend texts you, to meet her in her fucking house at the exact same time as the party, really!"
"isn't that such a coincidence?" i yelled
"im guessing your totally going to that party huh?"
he looks down
"bullshit" i mumble
"bullshit!" i scream
"relax lia"
"don't you tell me to relax when you said you loved me, you fucking loved me!"
"i absolutely can't believe you.. we had such an amazing day yesterday and i wake up today with a positive attitude and you ruin my day with this... congratulations your officially a bitch."
"lia, we aren't going to do anything, she just wants to talk."
"oh of course! so that heart and that heart eyes emoji at the end of the sentence didn't mean anything, yeah okay then."
"why are you still talking to me, go fuck your girl"
"ever since you went to that stupid party, you treat me like trash"
i yell at him to get out and i see him walk out through my window
i sigh and walk to mirror and start bursting of tears
i call myself down and do my breathing exercises.
"your beautiful, there's nothing wrong with you" i breathe
i see my mascara ruining and smudging on my face
"shes probably just better looking than you, nothing wrong." i tell myself
don't you see your an ugly mess, no wonder he wants you, you don't know what you want
she's probably the prettiest girl, your nothing compared to her.
i burst out crying, i can't let my mind control me
i calm myself down again
"it's him, not me. he has a problem, im perfectly okay." i keep telling myself
"your fine lia, your beautiful and amazing, he's missing out"
i look at myself for 5 minutes
i look at my messy curly hair, my ruined mascara, my acne, my body fat, my thick eyebrows, my dry skin, my hands with so many lines that grosses everyone, and my braces.
all i see are my flaws.
i start to bawl and i grab my phone and start to dial my best friend since birth.
"Pablo?" i sob
"lia, oh my gosh what happened?"
"can-n you just come over please-e" i manage to say
he ends the call and in a matter of minutes, he's parked right in front of my house.
he comes running through my room door, and looks at me in the corner.
"im sorry Pablo, im sorry i wasted your time,
just to see me like this."
he comes and holds me, and pats my back
while im sobbing on his shirt
i control myself and breathe
"im sorry, i have to lay my boy problems on you ."
"don't be sorry, im always here"
we walk about the front door together and in the corner of my eye, i see Brandon walking with his new girl, hand in hand.
i sigh and tell myself it's fine.
i thank pablo's older brother for bring him, and i hug and thank Pablo goodbye.
i turn around and see brandon looking at us dead in the eye.
i flip him off and walk off.
i decided to rant and walk with my dogs.
i get them ready and i begin to rant and rant about him and my dogs never ignore me.
we stopped for a break and my dogs give me kisses and i have a smile on my face
even though they don't talk, they know how to make me feel way much better, i wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
i give them treats and hug them with all i have.
we arrive back home and i put my pjs on and i get cereal and go to watch tv.
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short chapter sorry.
i hate my books and writing, I NEED MOTIVATION!!
i hate school so much.
um yeah, i need more friends
ily all
im obsessed with sophs new hair 🥺
anyways how's life ?
