Echoes of the Past

Chapter Thirty Six - Part One

Chapter Thirty Six: Truth And Lies - Part One 

The distant mountains had gone from a hazy dark smear to a slowly defining silhouette, in the time Sam had been sitting outside. Their jagged outline was now cut against the rising sun, filling the world with a fierce heat. It would be a hot day today. And a long one.

Sam sipped a hot coffee, made by a soldier on an early shift, and felt himself slowly awaken. It contained a shot of boiled sagka, giving it an extra nutrient-dense boost. Despite his fatigue, he had been unable to sleep, his busy mind firing all night.

The small tejan cub stalked the rocky ground ahead, pouncing at insects and rolling in the dirt. Sam managed to smile at the innocence of the small creature, and its simple life.

Den's past life had constantly been on Sam's mind. He always seemed like such a strong minded and powerful person, yet had been hiding the remnants of a broken man. Despite it all, Sam had come to a decision about himself. His old sword and grapple hook still called to him, but their power had muted and dwindled, no longer affecting him the way they once did. And, he realised, he didn't need them to move on. Possessions don't define me, he told himself. I am who I want to be, regardless of who people think I am.

For one dark moment during the night, he even considered the possibility of changing his identity, like Raylan had, but soon realised that was going too far. It even made him realise that he should just find the strength to move on.

Others had been on his mind lately, too. Not just the five hundred and nine people he'd lost during the First Fire Wars. Sam had mentored a younger student in his final year at the Allied Starfield Academy, Rodi Richards. And it was Sam's fault for not being there with him during his first battle, which lead to Rodi's death. Charlie Roben had been left for dead because Sam couldn't shake off the enemy ships before he had to leave Dolcis's imploding moon. And Will... Sam had never been able to reconcile with King Arken's son before he was killed in combat; during a battle that Sam should never have allowed to happen.

And it all began with Sam's own brother, William. It almost seemed poetic that Sam's first and last charges to be killed shared the same name. And now, James was under his protection. All this time Sam had been secretly hoping for Hayden to return, or for Den to take over and allow Sam to just fade away with no more responsibility. Now, Sam really didn't know if he could be strong enough to keep James safe.

A numbing chill ran through him as he wondered if he was returning to the broken man he used to be. The man he was during his darkest days. Maybe he had just been pretending for so long.

He knew, deep down, that he couldn't back out of this fight. He was exactly where he was meant to be, and he was there because there was still a fight in him. His eyes welled up and he grimaced, fighting back the turmoil.

This was the way it would go. Sam could be a soldier again. Just not the one he once was.

He felt his shoulders relax a little, as if a weight had left him. A great burden he hadn't realised that had been tensing his neck and shoulders for so long. He could still be a soldier, and fight if he needed to. But that didn't mean he had to return to the man he used to be. He didn't have to be tied down to a military organisation, or hold a rank; he could live by his own rules.

Gravel shifted and someone slowly approached from the doorway behind him. Sam didn't need any special powers to know who it was. He composed himself, sipping his coffee, and looked up as Den Keenosh came into view, his metal brace quietly clanking.

"It's a hot one today," Den said, pressing against his hovering walking device.

"I was just thinking the same thing," Sam said. His voice was thick with restrained emotion.