SOPE

Suga

I love every member of the band that you know as BTS but for me it more than just a band: it's an excuse to hang out with the most important person in my life, the person who gives me energy when I'm unmotivated, who cheers me up and who contemplates life when he's had a little bit to much to drink:J-hope.
He is more than a best friend to me though. I'm not sure if he knows, but since the first day we met he made me laugh, he rid me of my nerves and allowed me to perform with confidence. Thank you big hit and thank you J-hope. I love you but you may never know.
I only realised I felt that way towards him a few months ago in April when we were shooting "Boy with Luv" with Halsey and jin asked "If you were to date one person in the room who would it be?" and I said J-hope. For the rest of the shoot I couldn't focus I kept getting the moves wrong or missed the cue to rap but my mind was on other things, more important things, J-hope. I didn't sleep much that night I was thinking about what I'd said earlier that day and how serious I was. I did eventually get some sleep but not much because I was dreaming. Dreaming about him.
I woke up hot and sweaty scared but also happy! I was smiling from ear to ear! B-b-but the... the dream. It took me a long time to recover before I could think about what had happened properly. As I went through my memory of the dream it started coming back to me. I was alone with him on a boat surrounded by the beautiful ocean, but I didn't see it, I was too distracted by his face. Only now was I noticing how beautiful he was, his perfect jawline his wide beautiful smile that sent a warmth through me I was staring at him. He leened in towards me, I leened in towards him and just before our lips touched I woke up. "Dammit! " I said to quietly allowed. How could I have let it end like that "Ugh." and thats all I remember from that day. Him.