SUGAR

Five

Anthony "Ant" Watts

Kyra had locked herself in the room along with Mira while I carried Sugar into my room. Kyra definitely had got the best of her this time as she was literally floating in and out of consciousness while I held her. She had a knot forming in the corner of her head and a busted lip. All the blows back to back must've fucked up her head bad. I'm surprised I wasn't just as bad as she was. I felt so damn bad watching her pain. Shit was never supposed to get this bad.

"Ant" She spoke slightly above a whisper as she squinted her eyes frowning. "Let me- let me go" she huffed scrunching her tear stained face in pain.

"I got you ma, shh. You good." She wore the same facial expression still as I laid her on top my bed before as she groaned.

Checking to make sure my safe was still secured I walked to the door to examine the rest of my room and her. I trusted Sugar- but only to an extent. I couldn't lie though, the way she was just so damn good intrigued me. I watched her for a bit watching her eyes get heavy before heading to the living room walking over the broken glass from the lamp. I didn't have time for them Kyra games tonight if she tried some bullshit, so I decided to stay by the front door.

Sitting on the couch I let out a long sigh placing my head into my hands. I couldn't believe this what the fuck me and Kyra came to and now that Sugar was involved made everything a million times more complicated.

I was 19 when I met Kyra and she was only 15 just like Sugar. Kyra had managed to sneak Sugar out to one of my old homies Amir side of the town for a block party. I guess Amir had already knew Sugar so he helped me introduce myself to Kyra and crazily we clicked instantly and that's when she got comfortable and flipped on me.

I was beyond good to Kyra but she was an extremely jealous female. I never fucked around on her, in the beginning I never laid my hands on her, bought her any and everything she asked for and all. If a female even looked at me too long Kyra would throw blow after blow in my face- no matter if we were in public or not. If I was home and even scrolled near another female photo she would assume I was looking and put her hands on me or throw whatever was closest at me. Kyra knew I had been abused as a child by both my mom and stepdad and yet she constantly put her hands on me knowing I wouldn't put mines back on her until one day I snapped.

Thinking back on the time I sighed:

It had been two years with Kyra already and I had definitely upgraded lil mama within the year. She went from the crack baby to da baby.

I had just bought Kyra a new phone for her 17th birthday and she was too geeked since she could never afford a touch screen especially since her own mama was too busy getting her head knocked off by her daddy and using whatever extra funds she had on snorting powder. Shit was going all good until Kyra started to act distant with her phone. Always changing up passcodes, hesitant if I ever asked to see it or look at it, she'll catch attitudes if I even mentioned that fucking phone. That's when I found out the reason why. Rocko. Somehow the nigga ended up getting murked but that was supposed to be my brother from another mother when in reality he was smashing my bitch.

Kyra was asleep and I decided to unlock her phone. She could really be simple minded sometimes because within two guesses I figured out the passcode. Bingo. Going through her messages I seen a familiar number.

"Nah not my boy," I chuckled lightly shaking my head. But it was indeed him, I instantly shook Kyra out of her sleep.

"What the fuck is this?" I yelled out shoving the photo of her breasts in her face. "Speak the fuck up Kyra!" She wiped her sleepy eyes looking at me confusingly. "Bitch speak!" I yelled again my chest heaving up and down. A million thoughts ran through my head at once.

"Give me my muthafucking phone! Why the fuck you got be so insecure! Watch how the fuck you talk to me!" She smacked me across the face and with the force of hit I blanked out.

"Bitch!" I backhanded her across the face making her fall onto the wooden floor we once had. She held onto her face staring at me deeply but for some reason I couldn't stop. I finally had the power. She wouldn't put her hands on me anymore. I grabbed her by the throat and just began smacking her in the face left and right until I heard her finally screech out.

"Stoooppp!" She cried. "You're going to kill me Ant." She sobbed as I finally stopped. I stepped back looking at her and at my hands which had blood stains from her busted lip.

Who was I? Here I am, suffered years of abuse since I could remember and I was being the same monster that my "family" was to me. Although, I couldn't lie- it felt good not to have her hitting on me in the moment.

"You'll never put your hands on me again. I promise you." I stared at her intently as she held onto her face. I'll never let anyone make me so powerless again. Male or female. I was going to get the respect I always deserved. No one was going to allow me to feel like less a man again.

From that day forward I kept my promise. It was never the man I intended to be but it was the man I felt like I had to be. Over and over I've allowed everyone in my life to walk over me and I was fed up. I always said I will stop putting my hands on her but every time Kyra talked to me crazy or disrespected me it's like I lost control. Then again that was with anyone, especially in my line of work.

I had to make sure I was never to be fucked with. It was the only way she treated me like a man. I always wished she'd be more like Sugar. Sugar was feisty but not too disrespectful, she was honest, tasteful, knew when and not to do overdo her part, and most of all sweet. Beautiful too.

I caught myself smiling at the thought of her and the way she cared for Mira. I always adored that shit seeing them two. With Kyra suffering from postpartum since she had the baby she never developed a connection with the baby and even though I hated to see another mans child that was supposed to be mines a apart of me hated to see her neglected.

I knew Sugar would've been a great mother, especially after hearing Mira call her mama tonight.

Grabbing my stash of weed from the glass center table I decided to roll me a blunt to help with some of my pain from Kyra trying to knock me out. Letting my thoughts do they own thing I couldn't help but to think about what me and and Sugar could've been and what I could've been. Now here I was. A monster.

Tears rolled down my face when I heard footsteps. I looked up to see Sugar weakly walking towards the front door and my heart stopped.

"Aye where you going? You too weak-" She cut me off holding her hand up and clutching her side.

"I can't do this anymore. I'll rather be found dead in the streets please let me go." I watched her cry and the good in me got up to pull her into hug where she sobbed on my chest.

"I can't let you be homeless. If it means anything I'm promising you that I won't hit you again. Kyra won't either and things will get better for you just trust me aight?"

She looked up to me and before I could do something I regretted I backed away and let her decide on what she wanted to do. I was serious in what I'd said and seeing her nod her head I let out a breath and allowed her to have my room for the time being.