SUGAR

Eighteen

2 months later..

"M-m Mira, Mira!" I yelled out as I woke up suddenly from my nap with sweat trickling for my forehead as my heart thumped rapidly. There she was again, haunting me because I couldn't save her. Taunting me. It was yet another nightmare.

"Are you okay Sugar Bear?" OJ sat beside me on the beige leather couch holding my hand. Ever since I've been living here he'd watch me while I slept. He claimed it was because he was afraid that'll leave him again but apart of me felt it was because of these nightmares. They seemed to scare him just as much as me.

"Ye-yeah, I'm okay my love. Shouldn't you be showering for school sir?" I asked him switching the subject.

"You said that name again, you never want to say anything when I ask" He huffed. "You haven't had a bad dream in a long time sister." OJ said putting his head down frowning. I could see the sadness written across his face. He was always worried about me as if he was my big brother.

"And we're not talking about it okay? I made that clear. They've stopped the last two weeks so maybe it'll stop again. It's just some silly dream, all make believe." I smiled small placing my hand on top of his. "I'm okay, promise." Placing a kiss on his forehead I made him go get bathed leaving me alone in the guest room.

Laying back onto the large queen sized bed I rolled into the plush comforter as I cried silently to myself. These last two months had been hard since Mira's passing away. I didn't have a appetite, I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to be away from everyone. Everyone except OJ at least. He was the only thing in this world keeping me going at this point. We needed each other the most right now. I was blessed that we had even stumbled into each other again. After four days of living beneath the bridge I began walking one day to get food. As I arrived I noticed OJ & his foster mother Patrice were just getting out their car to go inside the restaurant at the same moment.

I had the same clothes on for the four days I was out on my own when I had ran into Patrice and OJ. They had immediately noticed my appearance since I carried a stench along with me. I hadn't had any strength to even move or even try to take care of myself. I had the funding but I just needed to be alone. I didn't want to be surrounded by people or even the world itself. I needed time to process the last 24 hours of my life. I was lucky enough to make it as far as the bridge. My legs constantly wanted to give up on me and I was just grateful I was found.

Patrice asked no questions upon seeing me. She simply asked was I hungry which I denied quickly already too embarrassed of OJ seeing me in the shape I was in. My clothes were worn and dirty, the wig I wore was scattered across my head like a birds nest, with my swollen eyes from the endless crying. OJ began to cry seeing me attempt to walk away from them and my feet ended planting themselves firm onto the concrete as I felt Patrice grab my hand insisting that I please come with them. I felt I had no other choice. I no longer had Mira but I had another little one to look after and I would never forgive myself if I had walked away from OJ so I went and I had been here since.

Part of me just wanted to end it all but I believe I ran into them for a reason. I still had a purpose. As much as I tried to push the thought to the back of the mind I felt I had knew what that purpose may have been. It was revenge. Sweet, sweet, revenge. I felt like Mira wouldn't allow me to rest unless I gotten her justice. It wasn't my character but I just couldn't resist the urge. Her death had awakened a side of me I couldn't tuck away no matter how hard I tried.

It made it no better that Anthony and Amir had constantly blew me up over the last month. Even after the service had ended for the month they both made it their business to continue to pay the phone bills. In hopes that I'd pick up one day. If I hadn't carried Amir's phone that day I would have left it behind in my old bedroom at Anthony's. I had no choice but to turn them off because too many questions about Kyra's whereabouts and mentioning of Mira's name came up. I felt I would lose my sanity if I had to play those events back. I was doing too well of a job keeping it away..