When Demons Are Redeemed: The Dominant's Muse

Eighty-Eight - Betrayal, Squared?

EIGHTY-EIGHT

Note: Due to early upload issues, some readers might not have read the last paragraphs of chapter 87, beginning with Catherine saying “don’t say anything stupid” to Tristan, following her repeated failed attempts at escaping him, in the sensuous imaginings of her mind.

Betrayal, Squared?

 

 

As Catherine attempts to hush the echo of Tristan’s words, of his “I’ll use my tongue next time,” and as she tries just as hard to push away the whole of the overlay that an altered part of her entranced her with moments ago, she does not register the response of her master’s eyes to her sideways look, nor does she see the removed attentiveness of two attendants who are in her proximity. When seconds then come and go without the emerging help of any luck in chasing away neither words nor picture show, Catherine shakes her head and looks away, knowing that what stubbornly remains on the table of her mind atop everything else cannot linger there and be ignored.

It makes me nauseous, Tristan, that you think and want me to believe that that act would be such a better experience for me, one that I should so appreciate, even though it’s nothing but an utterly empty connection, she therefore thinks to herself. The “fake” of it infuriates me, and as for having to pretend that it’s great, and not just another body-trick, another way that separates, that keeps two beings divided where it counts . . .  You’d just be so far away .  . .  And . . . And what did you mean, hours ago, when you said that you’d be taking greater interest in my pleasure? Have I been needlessly troubling myself, then, trying to hide a few things from you now and then, in my suites, while doing others openly that I really would prefer not to, but using them to throw you off? No. Knowing you, I’m certain that there have been cameras in my suites all along. Pause. Well, this time, I know that I’m not losing my mind, and that that table will eventually be cleared of everything that’s on it. Just need a pill. I just . . . How can I succeed in completely putting mind over body when dealing with you, Tristan, if you . . .  No. Whatever that little scene in my head was, it doesn’t mean that I’ve lost any part of my mind to you. And why can’t I just lock it all up in the vault, for now? Keep it safe, keep it from nonsense? It’s of so little use right now anyway, and for hours yet to come, in this man’s world.

The vault? Healer tests. Catherine has not mentioned it in some time, and he does not want her to remember it.

She does not reply.

You didn’t get his permission to climax, just now, Healer takes a jab, hoping to lighten things up.

Not funny, she, however, most seriously returns.

Be careful, Catherine, he warns her, or that repeated looping that you’re caught up in, that you’re creating for yourself, is what will make you completely lose it. One too many times upside down, and your mind will slip right out and fall onto the track below, where it will indeed suffer catastrophic injury. So just get off the rollercoaster.