Actors

08. Quietly

"Are you scared to leave him alone with your mom?" My father asks. The question catches me off guard. He was a man of few words for the most part. Usually, when he tended to the animals, he kept quiet and did his work. He must be concerned, if he spoke up.

"Scared?" I question. I give it some thought. Mom may be insisting and persisting but that's only on certain topics or things she firmly believes in. She was never harsh or rude with anyone unless provoked, she's always loving. "Should I be? She loves Jungkook. Possibly more than me. Ever since she saw him in that idol group. She didn't even believe me, when I said I would marry him." The guilt of being dishonest is something that bothers me. I'm not one to withhold something as important as this from my parents. "He's her favorite. Her priority might be him before me. I don't think I need to worry." I try to joke.

"I guess, you're right. There's nothing to worry about. I only bring it up because she can be overprotective when it comes to you." I nod. I knew she was but I don't think she'll overstep the boundaries. The only thing I worry about is that she would try to see how well we know each other. That's unsettling because we barely know each other's name. "I'm surprised that you married someone with a family name like his. You always seemed against people who looked too rich or lived an extravagant life." He still didn't understand and it was clear to see. He wasn't someone who would pry unless he needed to and he wouldn't ask me straight up about it. It was up to me to calm his worries.

"I didn't," I admit because it was easier to say part of the truth. "I judged him by his looks and what people in the industry said. We were both horrible to each other, at first." I realize that I may have said too much. "I know he doesn't look like the best person but he's got good in him. There's so much he has to learn about life and I'm willing to learn with him and teach him a thing or two along the way." The idea of seeing him grow from a city boy to a carefree person would be something I'd like to see. I wouldn't mind but would he?

"I'm proud that you recognized you judged him wrong. I'm still surprised you married him but that's because you never talked about Jungkook. I pictured you ending up with that one kid you always talked about— Taehyung. But life surprises you sometimes." Did I mention Taehyung various times? I guess, I did. We both continue to work without another word.

All I can do is silently pray for Jungkook to survive a few hours alone with my mother. I hope she isn't doubting the truth behind this marriage because dad already seems to question it. He may not voice it but today he made me realize I didn't think this through. Jungkook needs to try to integrate himself into this family because if not, then there will be questions.

When we got home everything appeared to be alright. There was no tension in the air. I was probably the only one who was tense. I reminded Jungkook we would go to town after lunch. He only nodded and helped mom serve the plates.

"Aren't your parents coming?" Jungkook asks, when he notices their absence.

"No. We should be fine on our own. I can bring them if you want," I say when I see him change his posture. I'm not sure if he doesn't want to be alone with me or if they make him uncomfortable.

"You don't have to. I was asking because I'm surprised. You seem to be close. They love having you around. They probably want some time alone with you." He tries to justify uncomfortably. I'm not going to question him. Instead, I adjust myself so I can drive to town. "It'll be nice not acting for a bit. I thought this would be easier." He murmurs, as he looks out the window. I can't tell if he's upset and it worries me.

"Do you want to talk about your conversation with mom. Did she overstep? Is that why you're like this?" I ask. He's trying to act indifferent like he usually does in front of cameras. There's definitely something going on here.

"She didn't— I guess. I'm sure that she's just being a good mom by asking all these questions, wanting to know about me, seeing if I'm the right person for her child, and all that. She's just making sure you're going to be okay by my side." There's an emotion he's trying to hide. Is it longing?

"Are you feeling guilty?" I ask. I know there's more to it but I'm not sure he'll let me pry into his private life or even go into details. I only knew what the public knew and it wasn't much really.

"Guilty? No, I don't know them." He might've uttered those words but I could tell he was struggling to lie.

"SeokJin? Is that you?" One of the neighbors recognized me. "I thought you were in the city trying to make it big. Your mom said you got married to a big star too. She said it was Jeon Jungkook but— is that him?" She was someone who was too nosy for her own good. It would bite her in the ass because everyone knew to be careful around her. She was one to never miss the gossip shows, therefore, I'm sure she just wants to get me to say anything not out to the public.

"Hello, Miss Lee. I'm glad to see you're well. If you don't mind I'm in a time limit here. One of these days I'll stop by to say hi," I said politely. I didn't have any intention of seeing her again or willingly.

"Make sure you do that." She smiles and as always analyzing. I could tell she trying to see anything out of the ordinary and she found it. Jungkook and I were standing a good distance apart. It felt like I was being exposed. Yet, my advantage is that no one would believe her. The words that come out of her mouth were always an exaggeration. Most people in town don't trust her. I smile back and know I have to be quick before she tries to prolong my stay with questions. I take Jungkook's hand before walking away from that situation.

"We have to hurry mom is waiting," I said as naturally as I could. I tried to direct my words to Jungkook but it was more for her to hear. My façade slipped and I wasn't sure if anyone noticed.

"Are we going to make it on time?" He asks. I'm happy that he caught on quick. We speed walk until we get into the market. There I guide him to a shop that sells clothing. The adrenaline is wearing off.

"You can let go now." He said. I didn't understand what he meant until he held our intertwined hands up. I bring them down. I couldn't let anyone see that we were uncomfortable with this simple gesture.

"You'll be okay. The rumor has probably spread that were in town. Now let's shop and head home." He stares at me for a few seconds before he walks around the shop.

Jungkook probably accessed the situation before letting it go. He didn't fight me on it. There's no small talk while shopping. He hands me items which he deems acceptable. I'm surprised because there's more than expected. Things like this would be second nature for couples but for us it's a first. We're finding middle ground. I have to be compliant just like he is in order to make this work. There's so many things that we've overlooked and I'm sure we'll try to silently compromise like we have today.

"Hubby? I forgot my wallet, can you pay?" He does aegyo which makes me smile. It makes me want to hand my credit card right away. There's no problem with how much he spent. The problem, if I should call it that, he didn't want us to mix our finances. We ended up agreeing to keep our finances separately to keep our eminent divorce clean. He wanted the rules and now he was the one breaking them.

"I deserve a kiss," I tease. The lady behind the counter can't hide her smile. She hands me back my card and bids us goodbye. "No kiss?"

"Of course! My hubby deserves a kiss." He kisses my cheek and walks out. I can't help but smile and walk away with the rest of the shopping bags. He was one to play along, alright.

September 27, 2019
I know I said "today or tomorrow" but life happened. I'm here the day after tomorrow 😂
This is dedicated to one of my most faithful readers
Iceland1991