Actors

09. You're too good

"Jungkookie, you look good! I like this down-to-earth version of you. Very simple— I like it." My mom complimented him. Honestly, he looked like the boy-next-door. Lately, he showed a different side of himself. He demonstrated that he didn't need high-end brands, makeup, and all that to live. He looks handsome and wonderful all on his own. I found him more appealing this way. Simplicity was becoming for him.

The best part was seeing how he slowly unraveled. He didn't seem to be weighed down by his surroundings. The quiet of the countryside was helping him thrive. Or perhaps it was by the people which surrounded him or lack of people. If I learned anything about him in the short time I've known him is that he's always surrounded by people. I'm sure they all have a purpose but it can also be uncomfortable. It's one of the reasons I only have a small group of people on my team.

"Thank you," he whispered. The hint of blush on his cheek was endearing. I wonder if he knows that his attitude has been changing. I won't say that we don't argue over anything because he still can't coincide with me. Yet, how could he be the same person I knew months ago? "I got this shirt in two different colors. I'm still surprised that I could get so much for less than one of my favorite t-shirts. The quality is not bad. Now, I can help you and father while I'm here." He smiled and he looked so genuine. He looked like a kid excited about his next adventure.

Can't he tell it's not the clothes that she has complimented? It's him. It's his person. I look at him and then my parents. They smile as if they caught me doing something they're proud of. I wonder what I've done. Jungkook sits down next. His body inclined towards mine, it feels like it's instinctively but I know better. If it was instinctively, it could only be because he knows me longer than anyone else in this room. It's only for comfort. We continued to talk, while we drank coffee.

"You're cheerful, today," I stated as we were getting ready for bed. A part of me wanted to delve into the subject further. I contained my questions. It appeared to be a gray area topic which I wasn't sure if it was alright to dive into.

I went into the bathroom to finish. I didn't want to make any questions that may ruin his mood and mine. He was happy and he had a right to be. I was reading too much into it.

"Is there anything wrong?" He asks, as I step out. The question takes me by surprise. Shouldn't I be the one asking that question? He turns to see me carefully.

"I'm alright. Are you okay?" I dare ask. It's so awkward. We never asked these questions when no one was around. His personal life was his own and he never cared to put up with appearances behind the scenes. What has changed?

"I've had a good day but I know that answer won't suffice. I don't think I need to explain— you said to be nice to them and I am. They're good people so it's not hard. You have a good home, Jin." He turns around to adjust the bed sheets. His words are sincere but lack an entire confession.

"Thank you. I'm glad you're having a good time despite the lack of the city glamour. I was concerned for a moment you might've lost your mind," I joke. "I guess I'm not used to you being not angry around me," I confess. There is always something to bicker about but not today or lately. This detail is something I miss but I'm also relieved we can get along just fine. Or was it an act too? He's a better actor than I imagined.

"Don't worry about it, I've got a good head on my shoulders. Let's just go to sleep." He lays down and adjusts the covers to his body. "Turn off the lights when you're done. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I repeat. I lay down next to him before turning off the lights.

There is something strange. I'm not sure what it is. Is it me of him? He looks far more relaxed than I've ever seen him before and I'm reading too much into his behavior. I decide not to overthink his change in demeanor. It could be that he's finally giving this place a real chance and he's enjoying the company. That must be it.

"What's wrong? You get a call and you immediately leave to answer. Did he call you? I thought we agreed that he would be gone." He waits for an answer which I don't answer. He sits down next to me as I continue to rip the strands of grass I pulled out. "You're not going to talk about it?"

"Should we even be talking about it?" I ask. I don't dare to look up at him. "He's gone from my life. You didn't have to ask me to leave him because even though this is not real— I respect the unity we established when we decided to get married."

"Then what is it? You look upset. Whatever you heard or whoever called you— it upset you." The concern written on his face looks genuine.

"Why are you here?" I ask. He didn't need to come to see how I was doing. Heck, I was sure that he wouldn't come out here.

"I'm portraying a worried husband here. Isn't that enough? And your parents are probably looking through those windows. They're worried about you. I'm even concerned because you have been out here for more than an hour. You didn't even finish your meal." He is confusing me. His actions are contradictory to what he said he wanted. He wanted me to sign a contract to determine boundaries but they're blurred. Was it his doing or was it mine?

I'm so confused these days. I'm reading too much into his actions. I'm starting to believe it's not an act. Does he know what he's doing? Does he know he's making a room for himself in my heart?

"I should go back," I say but without making an effort to move.

"It's so nice out here." He looks around before directing his gaze back to me. "Will you tell me? Because the last time I seen you act all kicked and hurt was when he called you. You don't have to tell but they're concerned. You can pretend that everything is okay or let them know you're having a bad day. Simple as that." Jungkook is right. I should talk to them but I don't want to move. I don't want to lose this closeness.

He puts his arms around me and lays his head on my shoulder. His hand moves up and down on my arm. It's a soothing gesture but I have to stop myself from actually feeling it. I can't trust it. This relationship is a mutual agreement and he was clear that this wouldn't be anything more than that. Then why can't I stop feeling this way?

"It was my manager telling me I didn't get the American movie role. I haven't been rejected in so long that I forgot how it felt." I decide to tell him. "Let's take some pictures to post later on." I take my phone out. I wanted to have some memories for when this is all over.

"Alright but let me take them. You don't take flattering pictures of me." He takes my phone and finds angles, and filters that make us look great. We even look happy together. We look good together.

February 2, 2020
I keep on wanting to write 2019 😆

It's been a long time! Iceland1991 I updated!