Summer Jones that's me. Although I wish it wasn't. I hate being me! I'm stupidly shy and pathetic I can't even get up the courage to make some friends here at my new school.
I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, whenever i'm about to talk to people. Then i either babble nonsense, or I just leave my mouth hanging open waiting for words to come out that never do.
I'm not very pretty well i dont think I am anyway, mum says different but i guess she's has to since she's my mother. The only thing that is good about me is probably my IQ but that doesnt get you anywhere in high school except maybe good college or uni.
So it wasn't a surprise to me, that i was sitting ony OWN in the corner of the caf, nibbling my tuna sandwich watching the jocks throw food at one another. Seriously you'd think they would have matured a bit since Kindergarden? Obviously NOT!
By the end of lunch the caf looked like one big messy finger painting by a two year old! Today isn't really my first REAL day at Heathcote Acadamy more of an induction, except already i didnt like it very much. I'm starting properly next week Monday, not that starting on another day would make it remotely better:-(
No-one had spoken to me all day! Or even given me a second glance in the corridor, they just looked at me like i was some dog muck speared on the bottom of their shoe. It was clear as paint what people thought of me:
'What on earth is she doing here?'
I obviously didnt fit in at all! I felt so upset and depressed that when i got home i flung myself on my bed and cried for like AGES!!! Until mum came in and asked if i was ok, and how was school. Great mum! Just great! im crying my eyes out and your asking if im ok? sure, just PEACHY! :-(
"Oh Honey, it can't be that bad." she said with a sigh as if she could read my thoughts.
It was obviously a long time ago since mum went to high school, or she just doesn't have the faintest idea about our generation; because yes school CAN be THAT bad!
Well for a loser like me, with no friends or social life, technically it can be that bad! :-( i didnt say any of this to mum though, but i definatly THOUGHT it!
Instead i just sighed, VERY deeply. i've never been good at talking to anyone about my feelings. Especially my MUM!
"Mum i don't think i really fit in very well..." i said sadly.
I was surprised at mums reply.
"Fitting in takes time and effot, persides you'll fit in, in no time your a popluar girl very smart and friendly."
I could tell from her reply that it was VERY clear that mum did not have a clue about high school. You don't need to be friendly and especially not brainy to be popular at any high school. You DO have to be skinny, pretty, snobby, have a boyfriend and have tons of friends to be popular.
And the even sader part was that my own mother didn't even know me! her own daughter, because if she did she would know i'm not popular, or pretty, i dont have loads of friends and certaintly don't have a boyfriend, and above all i'll NEVER fit in!!!
And then without my own intention i burst into tears AGAIN! why am i such a sad pathetic LOSER!. and you know the funny thing, my mum was very popular in high school i guess things were different then but still!!
She was even nominated prom queen for god sake!! so what's wrong with me??? mum conforted me for awhile before actually leaving me alone to have a private cry. i must have had been really upset because i didn't even want dinner.
I always have room for food, i eat heaps but i still stay as thin as a pin. so mum went stubbon, when i said i didn' t want to eat.
"Come on Summer i know your feeling upset but there's no need to make a fuss, look Clyde is eating his up nicely, so come on have some dinner." she said with a stubbon look.
Well my little brother Clyde is just perfect according to mum, everything he does is. Yeah mum, Clyde is a perfect angel he doesnt do anything wrong like the time he scribbled all over my wall by drawing a messy sponge bob that looked like a squashed potato! But OH NO! he does nothing wrong at all!
I didnt say any of this but again i THOUGHT it! instead i said,
"But really mum i honestly don't feel hungry today i had a big lunch at school."
Mum put her hands on her hips and frowned.
"Summer, you always feel like food and your lunch was a tuna sandwich, a yogurt and a pot of fruit!"
"Well..." i started. "i brought some food from the caf."
Mum put the tray of nuggets in the oven to warm up a bit, then put down her teatowl and looked up and frowned at me.
"With what money?" She said with that look that reads: 'i dont believe you'.
I was stuck then. I knew i didn't sound convicing but i didn't have like hours to cook up a proper excuse. Plus i felt a little let down with myself, that with a high IQ the only thing i could think of was 'I had a big lunch' when me and mum both knew that it wasn't true. With nothing else to say i just said,
"Fine i'll have dinner!"
"There's a good girl!" and she brought out the tray of nuggets.
"Just so long..." i said staring at Clyde in disgust. "i dont have to sit next to Clyde!" i finshed.
No way am i siting next him! especially when he plays with his food in a gross manner and gurgles his orange squash. so no thank you i'd rather eat outside in the rain. Well, maybe not the rain bit still!
"Just sit where you like Summer i don't care where, but preferable at the table." she said serving up my dinner.
I didnt care much for her sarcasim, but i sat down as far as i could get away from Clyde and his nugget-and-chips smiley face. i couldn't help but let my mouth water! as soon as i saw the golden nuggets ( Clyde's dont count seen as they were slathered in ketchup and no longer crispy golden) i instantly fell under its spell.
Soon i forgot about school, and how i'm a sad loser, and the fact no-one spoke to me all day and that i have an idiot of a brother, and my mum doesnt have a clue about our generation, and that i don't have a boyfriend or have ever been kissed, or even fallen in love for that matter.
All my worries and thoughts just disappeared into a little crack in my brain. i didn't even think about how i'm starting Heathcote Acadamy next week properly, and that i would probably want to barf at the sight of it, or even the fact that all my worries would come bugging me later. i just focused on eating my golden nuggets and crispy chips.
And i guess i was right that i'd want to barf at the sight of Heavecote. Because i definatly wanted to barf now as i stood yet again outside the school i didnt want to see again. Mum was with me holding my hand. i tried to shake her off but she clung on firm. She can be SO embarassing! I mean i'm like what FORTEEN!!!!
"Nervous?"
it was pretty obvious i was VERY nervous my knees were knocking together so violently i thought they wouldnt be able to hold me up much longer.
"Yes!" i squeaked pointing to my knocking knees.
"you'll be fine." She said with a reasuring look.
But again it was clear that i knew i SO wasnt going to be fine at all!!! i knew as soon as i stepped into the front double doors of Heavecote acadamy that it wasn't going to be fine! When i get introduced to the whole of the ninth grade student body, everyone will hate me.
i guess that was probably why i had gone as green and as sour as the peeling pain clinging to the double doors of Heavecote Acadamy.
YOU ARE READING
