The Fire Within

Defeat

Alex's hands were clenched in fists so tight they ached as he stomped home. The snowy street was deserted as he walked, fuming. His chest rose and fell violently with each passing moment, thoughts of her flashing in his mind. 

It was over. 

Done. 

Everything he had worked so long to build was shattered in an instant.

Alex came to the small townhouse sandwiched on a side street. The door was the same, yet this time it seemed so unfamiliar to him. His body began to go numb and the cold was not the culprit. Tears welled in his eyes as he fought them away. He couldn't come home crying--it would make everything exponentially worse. Alex steeled himself and opened the door, coming in and closing it.

"Alex, where have you been?" his mother asked, appearing at the end of the hallway and coming towards him. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he removed his coat. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the hall tree mirror. His hair was disheveled, his knuckles scabbed and arms bright red. His mother's hand appeared on his shoulder.

"Darling, what's wrong?" she asked gently, turning him to see her. Alex couldn't meet her eyes and instead focused on the space above her head. She surveyed her son, worry painting her matronly features. 

"Let me get some bandages," she said, starting away. Alex caught her arm. 

"Don't worry about it." he supplied, unclenching his fists and going for the stairs.

"Alex." Alex cringed at the sound of his father's voice coming from the parlor to his right. He stopped, his arm extended to take the newel post. 

Alex glanced back at his mother who watched him with worried eyes. He gave her a nod and entered the room. Alpha was in his usual chair, his mask on the table beside him. Alex started, surprised at his father's appearance. It was very rare for a child to see their parent in such a casual fashion. Faces were reserved for wives and healers. Alpha gestured to the chair across from him and Alex took it. He repositioned himself a few times before meeting his eyes.

"Your mother has been working tirelessly on your suit. Tomorrow will be your final fitting before the wedding." Alpha said, his tone bored. Alex tensed and brought his fist to his lips. He remained silent, eyes trained on the wall as he fought the urge to burn the entire place down. 

"I am aware of what happened today," he said, meeting Alex's eyes. The same gray ones stared back at him. Alex exhaled deeply, averting his gaze to the fire.

"You were reckless." Alpha shot.

"I know."

"You showed a blatant disregard to authority, risked her life and disappeared for hours afterward. Do you understand what that does for the Idris name?" Alpha lectured, listing Alex's offences on his fingers. Alex scoffed.

"You think I don't know that? I fucked up dad, I don't need you to tell me that!" Alex bellowed, shooting up and glaring at him. Alex's mother watched the two from the hallway as Alpha shook his head. 

"Sit down," he said dismissively. Alex shook his head.

"Why are you like this?" he snapped, stepping closer. Alpha sized up his son, unsure of his motives. Alex glowered at him, hands closing and opening.

"When you have children, you will understand," he said softly, looking up at him. Alex laughed mirthlessly.

"I'm done trying," he said, turning and walking out of the room. Alex passed his mother, stomped up the stairs and slammed his door. He delivered a swift kick to his desk chair and fell back onto the bed. His body ached, his hands burned and his head throbbed. Yet that physical pain was no match for the hollowness that was beginning to form in his chest.