You Saved Me Once

Please Don't Be Mad At Me

I was finally going out this weekend. The house was quiet again, not empty though.

"So, we want a side of fries with that. Emma wants Italian dressing for her salad." Jake says.

It was a Friday night, Jake and Emma were staying in. I offered to go get them food.

Jake, Emma, and me crowd the island table for no reason. Emma's staring at me, while she eats from the bowl of popcorn on the table. Her crunches grow more intense, the longer we keep eye contact. She's still silent. Her red bangs cover her eyes. She keeps fixing her cardigan.

"I got it Jake, thanks." I say.

"What about you?" He asks me.

I look at Emma, then him. I knew why he asked me

this. I wasn't eating, and it was obvious. I was lying to everyone, and it was obvious.

"Why do you think I offered to go and get you food?" My voice is weak.

"For vitamin D?" He jokes.

Emma giggles. She's picking through the popcorn bowl.

I was too sad to smile at his joke, I nod instead. I put on my hat, then my hood. I leave the kitchen and head to my car in the garage. I park it in the garage now, because I can't look at Hayes's car for too long.

I pull off, and head to the pizza place, even though I hate pizza.

There was a reason I offered. The pizza place is close to Shiloh Ridge, closer to Hayes. If he was still there, I could see him.

~~~~~

I wait in my car for a while, and watch people come in and out of the pizza place. I wanted Hayes to see him, I wanted him to like me again.

He wasn't there. I don't know, where he is.

I get out of my car and go inside. It's warm, I can smell the sticky pasta sauce in the air. I can feel the warmth of the ovens; the sour bitter cheese was too yellow. The smell was overwhelming. This was bringing back memories, bad ones.

A little kid is waiting in line with his parent. He sticks his tongue out at me.

Someone comes from behind and gives me a hug. I bite down on my lip, and smile.

"Hayes?" I ask.

The person is quiet, I turn around.

"Hey Alex." He says.

It's Jeff. His smiled warmed me for a short time. I was hurt that it wasn't Hayes. I was so hurt that I wanted to cry, but I hide it. I force a smile at Jeff.

"How are you?" He asks. He's smiling, he's happy.

His foot was wrapped, he had a crutch in one hand.

"It's a sprain. You should see the other guy." His words are soft. He's so calm.

"Lucky you." I joke. He laughs.

We were in a conversation, things were going better then I'd hope. The cashier calls Jeff's name.

Everything goes quiet again.

I watch as Jeff slowly makes his way over to the cashier. His wrapped foot is in a sandal. He drags the rubber sandal on the laminated floor. I hear it squeak.