You Saved Me Once

I'll Grow A Pit in My Stomach

Thankfully night came fast, and the party was starting soon.

Jake and Emma helped me decorate the house, they still cared about the aesthetics. They're pretty cute.

We set up pastel lights all around the house. I don't think it was a fire hazard.

The more lights, the better. We put them everywhere.

Next was locking the rooms that were off limits. Which consist of; my bedroom, Adams room, and the bedroom downstairs.

The bedroom downstairs is off limits for us too, but for different reasons. We don't talk about it. It's her room.

The bedrooms unlocked were the guest bedroom, which was our older brother's Jack's room, and Jake's room.

Doing all of this without the help of Rochelle, or Hayes. They were next door doing, whatever.

I didn't want to think about it.

When the party started up, they made their appearance. Along with a few other faces.

Adam's girlfriend Lorene, and his college friends showed first. Then came the high school lacrosse team, which meant Jeff was attending. It didn't take long for the house to fill up.

Once the party started, the awkward silence faded.

I wander around, smile at people I don't know, which is more fun, than it sounds.

Sometimes, I pull out my camera, or polaroid and take pictures. Or fiddle with the music playlist. This is at any party.

I enjoy parties on Friday nights. That's when people's true colors, show.

Hopefully, I can contain myself enough, so my true colors won't show. Enough, so my secrets won't spill out. Knowing everything that's currently happening, I don't think I'll stay sober tonight, on any accounts.

Which in a about an hour, my true colors begin to show.

~~~~

I had way too many shots, and not enough snacks. I was on a high. A destructive one.

With my camera around my neck I bump into Jeff at the snack table.

"Hey Alex." He smiles.

He looked cleaner than me. He had a water bottle in his hand.

"Oh hey. Jiff." I sigh.

He smiles at me.

"Are you having fun?" He asks.

He puts his arm around me. I hug him, my flimsy jacket scratches his black t-shirt. He passes me a water bottle, it's cold.

"Utter fun Jiff. Utter FUN!" I exhale.

I point to Jake and Emma in the corner of the room, going at it. I cover my mouth and laugh.

"You're hard to figure out Alex." He says.

"Me? I'm hard to figure out?" I slur.

"Yep. I kind of hate when people ask the question, that's being answered." He says.

He smiles before looking down. For a moment my high is gone, and I see Jeff clearer, both mentally and physically. He was really nice, like all around.

We talk a little, I go for seconds, Jeff stops me.

"You really think I'm cool "shit"?" I ask.