You Saved Me Once

I Love You Hayes

It was night again, when I wake up. Ever since Hayes left, the first thing I do when wake up, is go to my window. His car is always there though, in the exact same spot. It's in the same spot now.

Seeing it, affects my day. Thankfully the day, was coming to an end.

I roam the house, and watch T.V downstairs. Emma and Jake are in his room.

I kept my phone close, for Jeff. I waited for a text, or call, but nothing.

I was obsessed with the mystery of Jeff. I wanted to know him more, to feel him more.

For the first time ever, I want to share my secrets. I want Jeff, to know my secrets, while he kisses me. I want to comb through his hair and watch him get better. Watch the green line grow shorter, and shorter every time our lips meet. I want to get better, with him.

My phone buzzes under my leg. I put down my bowl of ice cream, to answer it.

"Hello?" There's static for a while. I'm on mute.

"Alex?" It's Adam. I can hear music in the background.

He walks someplace else, and the music quiets. I eat a spoonful of ice cream.

"How are things?" He asks me. He sounds buzzed.

"They are good. What are you doing?" I ask. I scrunch my hair.

Adam rarely calls, but he calls more than you'd think. More than Jack.

We've all been through a lot, so when a sibling calls, we always answer. No matter what.

Adam sounds sad. I can hear him sigh through the phone.

"How's Jake, where is he?" He asks.

I pick at my splinter, because I'm about to lie.

"He's good. I think he went out." I say.

I didn't want to get stuck on Jake for too long. I had another secret about him, it was fresh. Talking about him, made me feel guilty.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

I hear him sigh through the phone again, this makes me nervous.

"I'm worried about you Alex." He says. He's being weird. I laugh to cover my fear.

I bite down on my lips, when my eyes start to water.

"Adam, I'm fine. I promise." I lie.

"What did you eat today?" He asks.

"I'm eating now." I say.

"What did you eat today, Alex?" He asks me.

"I just had a salad." I lie.

There's silence through the phone again, I can't breathe.

"Come on, you don't believe me." I laugh, because I'm scared.

I don't like to talk about my habit. I don't like when people start to notice my habit.

There's static again, it's calming. Adam is still muted. I bite down on my spoon, when I go for another scoop.

"Alex." He's whispers.

"Do you miss her too?" He asks.

"Every day, Adam." I say.