The Fallen Goddess

We're Never Gonna Get There

Koreena breathes in and then breathes in again. She sits up, tears glistening in her eyes. She takes a swift look at me then waves her hand. I fall from the wall.

Furiously wiping my eyes, I rush over to her and hug her, ignoring the figure that put life back into her body.

"Blake, calm down. It's a normal part of the process," she whispers in my ear, but her voice is shaking too.

The figure clears his throat, but I don't move until Koreena pushes me back slightly. She looks at me, at my face.

I'm not particularly proud of my crying, but I just can't help myself.

Koreena gives a little smirk, and, tears still streaming out of her own eyes, says, "You know, you're kind of hot when you cry."

I laugh and pull her to her feet. I sigh, letting go of all the tension in one swift, relaxing breath. Finally, I look at the figure and see Jordeal grinning at us.

I'm really embarrassed that he saw me cry, but I smile through it.

"Hey," I say to him. "It's been a while."

He nods and extends his hand. I take it.

Then he looks at Koreena.

"So why did you call me over here? It seems to have upset your boy toy enough."

I smile, but Koreena looks seriously offended.

"He's not-" she starts to say but I cut her off with a quick kiss. I then face Jordeal again. She sighs and then faces him too.

"I'm glad that you were able to save me Jordeal," she says, smiling at him. "To be honest, I wasn't sure if I could still summon you here without my full power."

He just nods, as if waiting for her to continue, which she does.

"I called you over here to ask what you know about the River. We solved the original riddle, but I guess we assumed too much too fast because it turned out to be nothing."

Jordeal crosses his arms over his chest and groans a little bit.

"Koreena, there's a simple eplanation as to why your answer turned out to be nothing: it's because the riddle is nothing."

"What do you mean?" she asks, a look of confusion and desperation on her face.

"I mean that the riddle is fake. It literally is nothing but pieced together junk that is supposed to give you hope when there is none. Our parents taught it to us when we were little to give us a false sense of security about falling, but all along they were just toying with us, because they knew that if any of us fell, we would never be allowed back," he says in response, a morose look overcoming his face.

"As far as I know, there isn't even a River. There is no way back to Orathne except by way of our parents," he adds as an afterthought.

Koreena backs up and sits on the bed, plopping down with an utterly defeated expression.

"And how did you find all this out?" I ask Jordeal, crossing my arms too.

"After I bailed on my orders to catch Koreena, I went into hiding. But I also spied. A lot. Our parents and siblings laugh about these types of things together as if they're just old jokes," he says, spitting out the last few words with a tone of complete disgust.

A moment of silence ensues, and I truly have no idea what to say. And I hate myself because a sudden feeling of happiness overcomes me. 

I try my best to keep my tone even as I say to Koreena, "Then can you even go home?"

Because if she can't, then all of this wouldn't have been for nothing. We could be together and there would be no more risks, no more pain, no more struggling.

She shakes her head because she doesn't know.

Her parents won't let her back, and now the riddle has come out to be nothing.

I don't want to believe what I say next because I want everything bad to stop, but I say it anyways. For Koreena's sake.

"We don't know for sure that the River is fake, right? We can keep looking. We can keep going so you can find your way back."

She nods but doesn't look convinced. Nevertheless, she gives me a grateful, watery smile, to which I respond with the same thing.

"Thank you, Jordeal," Koreena says, looking at her brother. "I know it isn't the safest for you to be in my presence right now, but you came through for me."

He smiles and says, "I mean, I didn't really have a choice. You did summon me."

But he's joking, and he was happy to help Koreena. I can tell, and so can she.

Jordeal gives a final nod, then disappears into thin air, dust floating through the air the only sign that there was any sort of disturbance.

"Do you really think we can find a way for me to go back home?" she asks me, walking over to me and leaning against my shoulder.

I don't want to say anything. I want her to stay with me and I want this hunting to stop. I want everything to go back to normal, but I want her there with me.

I want to introduce her to everything normal; I want to show her what the Earth is like when we aren't running from everything in sight.

It's a crazy, messed up world, but I want her to see this place like I do; I want her to understand.

I want her to stop fearing for her life, I want her to stop worrying about her powers. Honestly, I want her to forget about her unfair, horrible life at home and see that earth is so much better. I want her to forget about her act to save Orathne.

But to ask her to do that, any little piece of that, would be asking too much. It would be indescribably selfish, and as much as I want all of this for her, I cannot even suggest these things to her.

Because then she would hate me. I can't have her going back home, and I can't have her hating me either. So I go with the most logical decision.

I tell that, yes, I think we can find her a way back to Orathne. I give her my word that I will help her nonstop to get her back to the place where she wants to be.

I promise her all of it, but she can't see what it's doing to me to make myself say all these words out loud.

It's killing me.

I'm dying, dying on the inside, and nobody can understand.

Nobody can feel it.

Nobody can hear it.

Nobody can see it.

Nobody can help it.