The Fallen Goddess

Epilogue: This is the End

I ring the doorbell. I wait.

For so long, I've been away from these people. For so long, I've made them worry. But I am here now, and that's the best I can do.

I can't change the past.

I left them for half a year and didn't even think about them. I did in the beginning, but then things got more complicated with Koreena and the adventure...

It's not even really an adventure anymore. It was a long, winding path that ends in heartbreak and forgotten people. 

I have mixed feelings about being home.

I continue to wait, and I grow worried and impatient, but I guess I can't complain.

After all, this is what I put them through to begin with.

Finally, I hear people moving inside, but they don't seem to be coming to the door. I don't know how long they've thought I was dead, so they might think I'm someone trying to give their condolences. That's probably why they won't answer.

I know that's why they won't answer; it has to be.

But I can't help feeling like they know I'm here, and just want to make me suffer.

I ring the bell again. And again.

On the fourth attempt, I hear someone inside scream, "Go away!"

They sound sad.

I try knocking this time, and still no one comes.

"Please," I beg, but I know that I've said it too quietly for them to hear. "Please."

More shuffling from inside, and now I'm knocking frantically. I seem like a madman. I just want everything to go back to normal. I've lived on the road for so long, I've had trouble being me because of everything that has happened, and I just want it to stop. Please.

There's still shuffling, and then the same voice yells, "Go away or I'll call the police!"

"Go ahead then!" I scream back, sobs wanting to escape my throat.

The noise inside stops. There is a pause in which I think they are calling the cops. But then I can hear footsteps from inside, and the door swings open.

My mother stands in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. She pulls me in for a hug, and I'm out of breath.

I want to be strong for her; I want to be able to tell her that I'm okay. That everything's going to be alright. But I can't because it's not true.

I'm glad to be back home, and eventually, I'll go back to being me.

Or, at least, That's how they'll see it.

Because I'm never going to get better. Not on the inside. Everything that I've seen, everything I've experienced...

6 months doesn't always seem like that long, but it's long enough to scar you for life.

It's not even about Koreena; I'm going to miss her like hell, and there are going to be times when I can't stop thinking about her, but everything else too...

It's just too much.

I am never going to be okay, especially if Koreena isn't by my side.

I know that Koreena may come back. But I don't know how long that will take, and if I know her like I think I do, then she won't come back, even if she's saved Orathne.

Because we both know that we are too different; we both know that anything could happen if she came back. So she won't.

She'll try to protect me, but all she'll be doing is hurting me.

She didn't even say goodbye.

I'm forever left out over the cliff, not knowing how anything's going to go. I'll always be stuck between the journey I lived through, about which I can tell no one, and reality.

I'll never really know if the Fallen Goddess will come back to me; after all, people change.

But what I do know now is that, even with my family here to support me, I'll always have the memories stuck with me. They will always be there, and they will never leave.

I can't tell anyone anything, and I'll always be drowning at the thought of what happened.

My family is here for my physically, and I'll always be grateful for that.

But in the end, I am truly all alone.